📍 Hey friends. Welcome back to No Silver Spoons. I'm your host, Sarah Beth Herman. Today I'm gonna talk about something that I hear all the time from business owners. I hear it from leaders and I hear it from people who are tired, but they are still trying and it's like, gosh, I'm still trying.

I'm just so exhausted. This is just how I am. This is just the way it's always been. I don't think that I can change. And I want to gently challenge you in those thoughts, in those things that you're telling yourself, because neuroscience actually tells us something very different. It tells us that most people are actually not stuck.

They're what we call rehearsed.  They've practiced the same patterns for so long that those patterns actually feel permanent. And for entrepreneurs especially, this misunderstanding becomes very costly because growth in business always demands growth in a person leading it. And so often, sometimes people are thinking, I don't actually need a mentor, I don't need a coach, I don't need a boss.

But we do, need to grow, whether it's reading a book, whether it's finding a mentor, whether it's having a business bestie that you can run things by. So today in this episode, we're gonna talk about how the brain actually changes and why it resists at first and what growth really is required when you're building something meaningful.

So if you're building a business, if you're in leadership, if you're leading a corporate team in corporate America. Whatever it is, you might be resisting. In fact, I can guarantee you're resisting. And I want you to know what growth really requires when you're in those moments. One of the biggest misconceptions about change is that it happens through insight alone.

Understanding something intellectually does not mean automatically you will have a change in behavior. The brain doesn't rewire itself because you had a realization. It rewires through repeated experience so you can grasp all the information that you want in this world. But if you are not actually repeating it, you're not rewiring your brain.

Neuroscience explains this through neural efficiency. The brain prefers well worn pathways because they require less energy. Even unhelpful habits feel easier because they're familiar in real life, this looks like knowing what needs to change, but continuing to default to old reactions, old leadership styles and old coping mechanisms. For entrepreneurs, this is often why scaling feels frustrating. You're trying to build a bigger business with a nervous system trained for survival level decisions.

Neuroplasticity doesn't mean overnight transformation. It means the brain reshapes itself gradually in response to that constant input. Think of it like steering a ship. You don't turn it all at once.

You adjust direction repeatedly. , For business owners, this means growth doesn't come from one bold decision. So like sometimes you might be listening to a podcast watching someone online and they're like, just make this one decision. Just buy my digital download. Just buy my course. Make this one bold decision.

Growth doesn't come from that. And I'm not discouraging all those things because sometimes the digital download is perfect. Sometimes the course is amazing. Sometimes signing up with that mentor is something you need, but growth comes from changing how you respond to stress. How you recover from mistakes and how you make decisions when outcomes aren't guaranteed.

So if this is you and you are the person that's like, Hey, I need to grow. I know I've got to do this, but you're not actually trying to get to the base of where you're reacting, responding, and recovering from, we're not quite on that path yet, but you can get there. Your brain actually learns by evidence.

So each time you respond differently. Even if it's just a slight change, you're teaching it, a new option exists. This is why consistency matters more than intensity. A calmer response practice repeatedly will eventually replace a reactive one. So growth is not about becoming someone else. I don't want you to do that.

It's about expanding what your brain believes is possible for you. A great story I have, just to add to this is I have a little tiny baby Frenchie and his name is Cash. And right now he is in training. And when I first thought of putting him in training, he was gonna be boarded and trained for two weeks, and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want my dog to be different.

I love him so much. I don't want him to change. I want his same little cute personality. I want him to be the same friendly little cuddly thing, but he has food aggression right now and I can't have that in my house. He could be harmful to another animal. Listen, I'm not changing who my dog is. I am helping my dog expand so that he can be healthier, he can be kinder, he can be more controlled, he can have a better understanding of how he needs to be managed in our home to be safe for everybody around us.

Here's something that I think people don't say enough. Entrepreneurship is an identity changing experience. If someone says, , you changed, consider that a compliment. If you're an entrepreneur, you better be changing every new level of responsibility. It requires a new version of you.

I am not the same person today. That I was 10 years ago, 20 years ago. In fact, some people are thinking, oh my gosh, I worked for Sarah Beth Herman, and I can't stand her pity the person who works under her now, and maybe some people still say that, but the reality is, is you always have to become new and the brain resists identity shifts because identity is tied to safety.

If you built your business in survival mode. Your brain has learned to associate urgency with success. When things stabilize, it actually feels uncomfortable. You're like, wait a minute, am I wrong for pausing? Am I wrong because this feels calm for a minute?  Am I wrong for this feeling that I'm. This is why some entrepreneurs unconsciously create chaos.

It's not because they want stress. Nobody wants stress, but their nervous system learned that stress equals momentum. Scaling in anything requires teaching your brain that stability is safe. it's Not strategy work, it's neurological work. And this is where leadership maturity actually shows up.

Not in how fast you grow, but in how regulated you remain while growing. When leaders don't grow, your business actually feels it. Your teams mirror the nervous system of the person leading them. If the leader is reactive, the culture becomes reactive. If the leader avoids decisions, your team hesitates.

it's Not personal, it's biological. Your brain unconsciously scans for cues of safety and certainty from leadership. That's why how you show up actually matters more than what you say. Changing as a leader isn't about perfection. It's about awareness and responsibility. The willingness to say the business can't grow unless I do.

 it's One of the most powerful leadership decisions someone can make. You see change, it happens when behavior, environment and repetition all align those three things, behavior, environment, and repetition. It happens when you practice a new response long enough for your brain to actually trust it. It's not just, oh, that was amazing.

Oh, I just heard that and I wanna repeat that one time. We need our brain to trust it. When you surround yourself with people who model the growth that you are reaching for, and when you allow yourself to be a beginner, again, everything changes. You see, entrepreneurs often struggle here because they're used to being competent, but growth requires discomfort before confidence.

Did you ever see a child who was able to walk before they crawled? No. You see, your brain doesn't need you to be fearless. It actually needs you to be consistent, and sometimes that consistency does require fearless, but the reality I'm trying to teach you is that consistency is what matters the most.

That's how your change will actually stick. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that every episode always has something called the That's good moment, the takeaway that I want you to have with you. I don't want you just to listen to this episode and hear really great things and be like, oh my gosh, I heard something really great.

I want you to put it into action. So here's what matters, and here's what you need to take away with you today. You are not stuck. Your brain is adaptable. Growth is gradual and not instant. I don't want you to think that just because you listen today, now you have grown. Now you have changed. There's work to be done here.

Leadership requires identity, evolution, and businesses can only scale as far as the leader is willing to grow. Maybe you're nervous right now. Maybe you've been hearing someone talk online. Maybe you're hearing someone mention a really good quote, or you've seen someone be successful and they feel intimidating to you.

Don't be intimidated. Put yourself in an uncomfortable situation and start memorizing those things that the people who you want to get to that space in are doing. Memorize it, repeat it. Think about it, write about it. Listen to it. This is your, that's good moment. These are the things I want you taking with you.

Thank you so much for spending time with me today. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who's building something and feels frustrated by their own patterns. And maybe they don't even know what those patterns are. Maybe you just know, maybe they need to hear this.

 And as always I would love for you to rate, review and comment below wherever you're listening to your podcast. If at any point you ever feel like I'm talking too fast or talking too slow, you can go to the listening speed on your podcast player and change the speed of my voice to slow it down or increase it.

If you have a suggestion or you wanna be a guest on the show, please check the show notes for information on how you can reach out to my team so we can get you on the show and hear your story, your wisdom, or what you've got going on. Until next time, keep growing with intention and leading with clarity.

I'm  📍 Sarah Beth Herman, and I'll catch you on the next episode.