📍  Welcome to season four of No Silver Spoons. This is episode 89, and yes, you heard that right. We are keeping the overall episode count intact while beginning a fresh new season here at No Silver Spoons season. Marks the theme and the focus for me and the number marks the journey that we're all on together because I want you to see the continuity, where we've been, matters to where we're going.

This story keeps building and so do we. This season is called Keep Going it's going to sound different than all of the other stuff I've done before. Fewer polished edges, more truth and stories, and some of them are really embarrassing actually, I want to stop giving just the highlight reel stuff.

And I think that if we can just be real and have this moment between you and I where it's just us. And I can just come forward with what I've really been through and how things have really been for me what it meant for me to choose these two words. Keep going. I think it'll change everything about where you can go to.

You see, I have learned that people think leadership eventually just gets easier when I hit the revenue target. When I hire the right team, when I get a certain number of new customers when I land the right client, then the worry stops, but worry doesn't evaporate. I believe it shape shifts, and when it does, we do not fold.

We keep going smarter. Steadier, kinder, kinder to ourselves, and clearer with our people i'm starting season four here because endings and beginnings share a hallway. We closed out season three with you hearing the raw parts of my story and how we got to keep going. Now we begin again with a different kind of strength.

One born from living through it, and the number 89 is staying with us because I want you to see. That this isn't a reset button for me. This is Continuum. The seasons help you find the training that you need. Where we were as a podcast, where I was as a host of a podcast, and the numbers, they remind you of every mile that we've already walked together.

Both things are true. At once, a fresh start and a faithful record. Over the next 12 weeks, you're going to get short. Honest episodes paired with digital products that you can actually use clean layouts, reflection prompts that don't feel like homework. Quick reads so that you're not having to read a full on dissertation to get something to take and put into action.

Most will be formatted for the iPhone notes app so that they live  where you live. All of my digital downloads that go with this season are normally $19, but for all of my listeners, they're $5 with the code in the show notes. So check those  each episode so you make sure to get yours for just $5.

And this isn't a content dump of sorts. This is a conversation. So you get to join me for free in two different places. . I'll mention these each episode for our new listeners too. On Instagram, you can search the handle at No Silver Spoons Podcast and tap the broadcast channel titled Keep Going. You can also find us on Good Pods.

You'll just search no Silver Spoons and then join the Keep Going Group. You're going to hear what people are sending in. You're gonna chat with us.

So let's bring you back to 2011 where my keep going journey started. Now. I've been a leader long before 2011, but 2011 marks a really important time in my life, my husband and I are four years into marriage. At this time. I'm working at a dental office as I had been since I was 17 years old.

I was making $16 and 50 cents an hour, and after taxes, that's about 2200 bucks a month. We weren't drowning as a newly married couple, but our feet never touched the ground. So my husband and I stacked jobs. For me, that meant bath and body works and Kohl's were two part-time jobs.

I added to my schedule. I would ring up candles and lotions and perfumes that I myself couldn't afford, on lunch breaks, specifically at the dental office, and even when I wasn't on a lunch break, if I'm being honest. I was scrolling the ever so popular Craigslist, like it was a lifeline for me you see, every year when we got our tax refund, we would spend it while it was on the way.

We already knew where that money was coming. And if you're anything like me, tax refunds are such a big deal, right? It's like this influx of money that somehow signifies an element of freedom you've never had before. It's almost like oxygen, right? Well, this particular year my husband and I had decided that we wanted to take that tax refund and we wanted to have it work for us, which is so different than we had been every other year before buying stupid, frivolous things that we had no business buying, especially with the simple fact that we had terrible credit.

Not like needs improvement credit, but like the worst kind of credit, like declined for little things. Never mind the big things. We didn't have car loans, we didn't have credit cards. We didn't have a safety net. You know when I say we didn't have a safety net, not even a 401k, because the second our 4 0 1 Ks got like a thousand bucks in them, we were cashing them out like it was a forgotten gift card.

That's where we. We weren't making financially savvy decisions. We weren't doing the right thing with money when it came in. We weren't paying off debts to try to become better. We were just fighting for our lives and had no idea what that even meant. Back to my Craigslist scroll, right? So I was searching for a business.

That's why I was on Craigslist. All the time because I thought if we could just find a way to buy a business, it would answer all of our questions. all of our dreams come true. We would have financial security if I could just figure out a get rich quick scheme. And for me, that might finding a business, but it had to be the right business one that I could take over.

Right. Well, in 2011, iPhones weren't what they are today. It wasn't a. Simple. Share a link to this. Click it open on your phone, and now I can see everything you're talking about. This particular day that I found this particular business,  I was working at the dental practice and I remember scrolling through and seeing that there was a hair salon for sale, and maybe you know this about my past, but  I actually went to cosmetology school and went on to do hair for a very long time.

As a part-time gig. And you could even say that I had four jobs at once because even though I was working at Bath and Body Works and at Kohl's and at the dental office, also  as a hairstylist that would travel to different homes. And at one point I even did hair for a Alzheimer's facility.

I've, I've always enjoyed that aspect of my life and seeing that there was a salon for sale. This was really. My wheelhouse, I knew this. I loved this. It was a world I wanted to exist in. And then I see it a salon, $5,000 down. Owner financing. I mean, the photos look like music videos to me.

Black and red. Accents everywhere. Glossy hardwood floors. Seven foot black mirrors leaned up against the wall. Shampoo bowls, break rooms. Washer and dryer in downtown Denver, Colorado. Yes. , This was giving the, you made it appearance even though I, absolutely hadn't . You know, I didn't even know the first thing about buying a business, but I'll tell you right now.

I copied the link to that listing and I emailed it faster than you can imagine to my husband. . And I called him, telling him the email was in his inbox. He clicked it and said, wow, this looks amazing. Now I'll tell you, my husband's the skeptic of the two of us. Me. I wanna be everyone's friend. I wanna help everybody.

I'm here for everyone exclusively, and in exclusively. I just want to be your best friend. You never have, you always should have had. So I don't think anything bad's gonna happen. I'm never skeptical. I always think everything's just going to be

absolutely incredible. Maybe this would've been the experience of a lifetime had it not gone the way that it actually did. So let's talk about that for a minute. My husband opens the link. He thinks, Hey, this might work out, but let's meet with the owner

let's see if it's a scam. Let's see if it's real. And scams weren't as, widely talked about as they are now, but he still had his reservations. We found out that the existing owner lived just a short while away from where we lived, and so we were able to meet her at a Starbucks. That was located about five to seven minutes from our house.

She agrees to meet us that evening and I remember walking in and she was very, very polished looking. It was like she woke up rich. That's what she looked like.

She had a folder of bank statements on top of a laptop, and really to me, the kind of confidence that makes your throat go dry. You ever met somebody like that? When I tell you I didn't know the first thing about opening a business or buying a business, let me give you a few examples that, well, you're gonna shake your head and you're going to think I'm a little bit crazy and you're gonna have a little bit of secondhand embarrassment.

First of all, I asked to look at her bank statements thinking that that would make me sound like I was a noteworthy owner or future owner. And the first thing I noticed is that she never had a balance that went negative. And so I thought this business must be profitable. Well, let's just pause right there, because a business's account never went negative.

That makes them profitable. In what country? On what land, on what? Tuesday, what? No. So that's strike number one that I remember I made. And number two, she had a lawyer that meant I didn't need a lawyer. I thought that, hey, she wants to fork out the dough to pay for a lawyer that's on her. I'm not wasting my money.

She's already paying for it. Perfect. I don't have to spend any more than $5,000. Strike number two, that's not the case. I'll teach you more on that later. Strike number three. I didn't know that you needed to ask for an inspection. In fact, I thought an inspection meant my husband and I were choosing to go down and see what the actual salon looked like.

So we did. We went in to go look at it. I didn't Google her name. I wasn't calculating risk here, guys. Okay. I was inhaling a fantasy. There was no risk for me. This risk was on the person who was willing to finance someone who had the literal, worst credit in the world and $5,000. They were just coming into like, I never had $5,000 at one time in my entire life at this point.

Okay. All I knew were negative bank accounts and testing out my debit card to make sure a dollar could go through so I could fill up my gas tank when payday was coming. Like this was a different world for me. I remember, and we'll call this Strike four, on my journey of business ownership. I remember that one of her requirements for financing this and, and this whole deal being able to go through was that.

We had to get approved to have a commercial lease because even though I was buying a business, I wasn't buying a brick and mortar building. The space was leased by the business and I had to get approved for that. Now let me remind you, I have the worst credit on the planet, and so for me, I thought, well, God, if you literally talking to God, God, if you want me to have this business, you will make a way.

You will make a way for me to get this commercial lease and that will be my sign that we absolutely should do this. And I think part of the way in the back of my husband's mind was thinking, oh gosh, um, we're never gonna get approved for that. I'll get to keep my 5,000. We're going to be saved. Well, let me just tell you the party my husband and I had when I got approved for that commercial lease.

And I'm telling you, I was on top of the world. I got approved for a 10 year commercial lease at $1,300 a month for a business that was in downtown Denver, Colorado. Now I'm telling you, I thought that meant I had absolutely, without a doubt made it, they approved me for a 10 year lease. Ma'am, that is a 10 year obligation.

That is not a. Winning moment of your life. That is not a time that you should be absolutely thrilled and just in a bragging moment that this is where your life has been. , You just assumed a 10 year problem, a 10 year debt. Of $1,300 a month. You don't even know how much money this salon makes on an annual basis.

You don't know what it makes on a weekly basis. You don't know if they were profitable last year or they will be this year. You know nothing. But I got approved for that lease and to me, that's all that mattered. There wasn't another thing that mattered. I didn't care if there were red flags everywhere.

And we're gonna get to the red flags. Let me just tell you that right now. We're gonna get to 'em. But this is just where I started thinking if I could just get the lease, all of the problems will be solved. If I can just get this person to let me have this business, we will be successful. If I can just talk my husband into this so I can give us a better future by owning this salon.

Everything will work out. Everything will be different if I can just do this. Let's talk closing day. There are some details that I have left out and what led us to getting here to the closing day, but let's just jump forward and get more to this story of how this actually went down. I want you to imagine for a moment, 16th Street in downtown Denver. I remember I was getting ready that morning.

I decided to call out of work for my dental office job.  I wasn't scheduled to work at Kohl's or Bath and Body Works this day called Outta Work.  I decided, you know what? I'm gonna ask my husband if it's cool if I go ahead and get my nails done. It's gonna be 20 bucks. I just wanna look the part. I got dressed in an all black outfit I bought from Kohl's so that I could look the part.

That I wanted everyone to believe that I should have. I drove down to 16th Street. I was meeting the existing owner and her lawyer at their law firm in a high rise. I remember walking in and riding the elevator up, and as you get out of the elevator, there were floor to ceiling glass walls, and this was the kind of place that everybody whispers.

When they walk in you, you talk at a lower level. The wood smells expensive. Paper slide pens, click phones ring, receptionist, check you in. You know the kind of place I'm talking about. I walked in and I talked with the front office. I let them know who I was. I waited in the waiting area and someone came to get me.

They took me back to a conference room that had a long wooden table with black chairs that overlooked the rest of the portion of the Denver skyline. You couldn't see from the other side. The existing owner was on the  opposing side of me, and the lawyer was to our left.

I had really made it like I was sitting in this expensive room and chairs that were probably thousands of dollars. I don't know, but I just felt like I had made it. I didn't have anyone with me. It was just me. I remember. The lawyer had this stack of papers that were gonna finalize the sale for us to all sign sitting in front of him.

I don't remember what he said. He was an older gentleman in a gray suit. He had glasses, there were pens on the table. He would hand me each portion that I was gonna be signing, and I would skim through using the pen to actually. Fake underline as though I was guiding along and reading every single word, but I don't think I read anything.

Maybe this is strike number five for me. I don't even know if I left that day with the stack of signed papers or if I just left them all there. I don't even know. I do remember finishing the signing part and thinking, wow, it's done. I own the salon now and looking around wondering like, what's gonna happen now?

I remember asking the previous owner, where are the keys?  And she said, oh, that's so funny. I'm so sorry I didn't grab them for you. She goes on to go into her purse and take the keys off of her key ring and she slides them across the table. I grab them, I get up, I shake both of their hands and I walk out.

I leave the building already rehearsing how I'll say my salon without sounding obnoxious. I walked to 17th and Welton where this salon is located.  I remember I had heels on that day, and the weather was really beautiful. It was the partly cloudy day, but I had no business on Denver sidewalks.

I think I knew that then, but I wasn't willing to admit it. My pride was far too big. The sun was on my face, the wind was in my hair, and I opened the door to my new life at this time. Right. I was walking into a place that I had never really been before. I had never really had a team like this.

I got to the salon and I opened the front door and I just imagined that there would just be this uproar of applause and people excited and ready to meet me, and there was just gonna be this amazing welcome and hugs and oh my gosh, I'm so and so. And who are you? And just this amazing outburst of love for me.

And what I walked into and said was the room full of stylists crying.  The former owner didn't tell them she was selling the salon. They all were left letters on their stations that did the talking. They weren't welcoming me, they were grieving her before I knew what the building started to tell me.

More truths in this salon that I thought was so beautiful. There happened to be only one live outlet in the back, and there was a massive extension cord that ran like a vein through the walls. , There were never permits pulled for this salon. There were no safety measures, and the salon manager that I confided in for absolutely everything about my new purchase just happened to be the seller's cousin.

Cash was disappearing. Clients paid, but money never hit the books. When I tried to order, product vendors refused me. In fact, I had inherited old debts I didn't even know existed. We had a bat situation one morning. Yes, actual bats because  of unseen gaps that no one had disclosed. We had chairs that didn't work and service techs wouldn't even come until the last owner's $900.

Bill was paid. Reviews started appearing online that read like hit pieces, and later I learned my own team. The team I had acquired was writing them sabotaging the very dream I had. I tried everything fast and loud. We hired a sign twirler down the block to help us. We added white vinyl lettering to the windows so that people who were driving by would see the salon existed.

The street was dingy, cement gridlocked across from a FedEx and next door to a locksmith. We created Craigslist ads for booth renters and commission stylists.

My biggest problem was that I confused likability with leadership. I wanted to be everybody's friend so badly that I forgot to be anyone's boss and reality. He was introducing herself to me like I had never seen before. I had already given notice to the dental office. I had quit my other two jobs.  I had Cut the parachute and my math, it was fantasy math.

You see, I was calculating that I had a $1,300 commercial rent payment minus $800 from a one booth renter that equals. $500. That's all my expense for this business was in my mind, we were basically printing money.

You see, I was doing the kind of math that you do when you want the answers so badly, you actually stop doing math.

Nine weeks in. I knew the end was here. Vendors were not able to restock my shelves. Cash wasn't adding up. The team was unraveling and the woman I had trusted the most, my salon manager, she had quietly made a copy of the keys next door at the locksmith and given them to the previous owner.

I later found out that owner  would come and just sit in the salon when I wasn't there. They would all gossip and further strengthen their strategy to completely destroy  everything that I ever wanted.

  📍 This is where episode 88 began, the laptop story. I will take you there and a little bit further. So. In episode 88, I talk about how I had bought a MacBook to look the part I even remember when I bought that MacBook.

During the setup screen, it asks for a name and most people type their own. And instead, I typed two words. Keep going. That machine became a symbol for me. It sat on my counter while I played owner.

It hummed while I typed ideas that didn't stick. And when the bottom fell out, when money was gone and pride was louder than wisdom, I listed that MacBook on Craigslist and I sold it in a parking lot for less than I even paid.

I remember handing it to the stranger like I was handing over the last tiny piece of the life I wanted people to think I had.

You see, while I had that MacBook, there was more heartache. You know, it wasn't for me that I just wanted to have a salon. I wanted everyone to think that I had made it. I wanted everyone to believe that I was something. I wanted to provide jobs for people. And by golly I was gonna try. You see, at the time, one of our family members had recently married an accountant, and I thought, you know what?

I don't know what I'm doing and I need to get an accountant in here because I have a legitimate business. And if I hire a family member  that is an accountant, I'm really going to look the part. I'm gonna be the part. And for once everyone in my circle is going to see how successful I am, and that will literally be the only thing that matters to me.

So I did. I had a phone call. She asked me how much I pay, and I said, well, I don't even know how much an accountant charges. What do you charge?  She says, $50 an hour. And I said, great. This is a job that might cost  $200 a month, couple hours here, couple hours there. We didn't go over expectations, we didn't go over any sort of arrangement.

I just said, I'll give you logins to my QuickBooks and you can be my accountant.

Her first invoice to me came in a few weeks later for $1,600, and I about passed out. She had charged me to research what it meant and how to work QuickBooks for a small business. You see, she worked at an accounting firm, but she didn't actually know how to be an accountant. She had to learn, and she billed me $50 an hour for her to learn.

I remember showing my husband this. And him saying, well, we're not paying that. And it wasn't even that we were irritated that she was charging us to learn it was that we didn't even have the money. Like yes, we were mad that she charged us $1,600 for like nothing. But moreover it was, we're not paying her because of that.

But really we were too embarrassed to say we didn't have the money. We didn't know how to set good expectations.  We didn't even understand what our budget was. For anything.

I used the cash from selling my MacBook to file bankruptcy. That's really hard to say because I know who I was then today. I'm not scared of that today. I don't feel bad for that today. I'm not ashamed of that, but me in 2011, I'm sad for her. Because she thought life had so much more in store for her, and she was so disappointed in that day.

After that, I went back to the salon and did the only thing I knew to do. I wrote letters to the remaining stylist, long apologetic, too emotional, way too young. I taped a sign to the door and I filled two large black trash bags with product to sell at a garage sale because bills don't care if you're learning lessons.

I  posted that on Craigslist, that I had salon products for sale People came by and then the previous owners came by to stalk me. They circled my house. They took photos, they shouted from their car. I called the police for a civil assist because I didn't even know what I was supposed to do with that level of intimidation.

I thought owning a business would make me feel legitimate instead.  I felt small, ashamed, broke, exposed. I wish I could tell you that I learned gracefully, but I didn't. I learned the way most of us do by being humbled in front of an audience I'd invited to watch me win. And that's why this season of no Silver Spoons exists because lost doesn't have to be your label.

It can be your lesson, and that's okay. And it can be the very reason you learn to keep going the right way. You see, I'm not asking you to muscle your way through.  I'm asking you to work with your brain, not against it. There are a few things I want you to learn even in this first episode. Words maybe you haven't recited before or never heard explained.

The first one is cognitive appraisal. When you reframe a failure as data, for example, I didn't vet. Next time I need a lawyer. Inspection vendor checks, cash controls your brain reduces the stress response and frees up problem solving. This is why our prompts ask, what did this teach me?

Not why am I like this?

Next implementation intentions, if it's Friday at 3:00 PM. Then I review vendor balances and cash controls. Okay, that means I have a clear cue and a clear action equals a follow through Self-compassion, not soft,  strategic. Beating yourself up drains energy and it narrows focus.

Treating yourself like you'd treat a talented friend increases resilience and intelligent risk taking boundaries and recovery. Consistency beats intensity. You can't beat on forever. Tiny, reliable rhythms create stability Your future self can actually stand on And last. Identity based habits.

You become what you repeat. I am the leader who closes the loop daily before 5:00 PM. Identity first, action Second. This is the nervous system and behavioral science version of Keep Going. Less Willpower, more Wisdom.

Your week one download is the Business Detox Action Plan. It's 15 minutes, three categories. People, patterns, process people who is costing you disproportionate energy or trust your micro move. One candid conversation with the script in the download patterns.  What keeps breaking because you keep tolerating it.

Your micro move is one stop doing list and a visible reminder in your desk or on your phone.

Number three processes. What are you still doing manually that needs a system or a stop? Your micro move is going to be one automation, one template, or one weekly review. Then we set one implementation intention per category, so if it's Wednesday at 2:00 PM I will send the cleanup email using page three.

If I finish lunch, I will do the five minute balance check on page four. It's simple on purpose because the point isn't to make you busier, it's to make you steadier. The listener price for this download is $5 with the code in the show notes, so please make sure you check that before clicking checkout out.

We're almost finished with this episode, and yes, it's a little longer than normal, but there's quite a bit. I want to make sure we cover. One. I don't want this to be you listening in your car and forgetting by Tuesday, so come. Where the accountability lives In our private cohorts, a cohort just means a group of people connecting.

I've got two places you can find that one on Instagram, which I believe is going to be the most popular, but we'll see what happens. You can just search no Silver Spoons podcast and click the keep going broadcast channel for first Drops Mini trainings and check-ins, or you can find the Keep Going Group on Good Pods.

That's under our No Silver Spoons Podcast, page. Both are free. Bring your questions, bring your team, bring your honesty.  A lot of you ask. Why not just reset to episode one every season? Well, that's because the season label tells you what kind of help you'll get. This is resilience systems and recovery.

The episode number tells you the whole journey, how far we've come together since episode one. You deserve both a fresh on-ramp and a faithful record. So this is season four episode one, but it's also episode 89. We're honoring the story and organizing the help.  And a heads up. Monday's episode is where I finally share what we've been building, the new digital products and resources designed to help you keep going with less chaos and more clarity.

If you've ever wished you had a script, a checklist, or a clean plan that didn't make you feel behind, you're going to feel seen. So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss it. As we close out this episode, I want to remind you that I used to think success was a crisp black outfit, fresh nails. A shiny new MacBook and a signature on thick paper in a glass office., And a high rise in Denver, Colorado.

I thought if I performed successful well enough, I'd become it,  but performance can't replace preparation and pride can't pay vendors.  Bankruptcy didn't end my story, and humiliation didn't end my story. Toxic loyalty to the wrong people also didn't end my story. And someone circling my house to intimidate me didn't end my story because a finish line isn't coming to rescue us,

we can rescue our own future by telling the truth, learning fast, and choosing the next right step again and again. The line keep going isn't above her sticker. It's a way of leading when you wish you could hide. It is a way of loving your people without abandoning yourself. It's a way of treating your past with mercy and your future with respect.

If your chest feels tight and your calendar looks impossible,  you're not broken. You're becoming, and I'm right here with you, go grab your Business Detox Action Plan for $5. Lincoln Code is in the show notes and join the Keep going broadcast channel on Instagram or the Keep Going Group on Good Pods.

Both are free. Subscribe now so you can catch Monday's announcements and new releases as we launch each new episode over the next 12 weeks. This series is sponsored by Dentistry Support. To sponsor a future episode or to be a guest, visit dentistry support.com/keep  I'm Sarah Beth Herman, your host. I've led teams of one to 1500 and hired more than 700 people across the globe.

No matter what this week took from you, there is still. So much left  📍 inside of you. Keep going.