📍  Welcome back to this episode of No Silver Spoons. Today's episode might ruffle a few feathers, and honestly, I kind of hope it does because we're about to get real about something that I see every single day on social media, and I think you know what I'm talking about. The quote resharing, the vague posting.

The deep sigh, the emotionally heavy, the over filtered graphics that say things like, don't cross oceans. For people who wouldn't jump a puddle for you. Sometimes you have to be your own hero because people will fail you or healing looks like cutting people off. I think you've heard far more than that, and maybe you haven't heard these, but I think you get the gist because at first glance, you think.

Wow, she's going through it. Or maybe you think she's sharing that because she's growing, she's evolving, she's healing, she's becoming this inspired version of herself. But I want to tell you a little bit about someone that I know, and I've changed her name because you guys know I changed the names of everybody in my episodes.

I never want to call out people in real life or for you to be able to find them. But I wanna tell you about this and, and honestly no shade whatsoever because I say this with love and experience. My friend Vanessa, I see the story behind the story with her. Her curated little collection of quotes isn't really about self discovery.

It's subtle sabotage. She's mad, she's hurt, and the world is gonna know without her ever having to say it out loud because those quotes, they're not actually affirmations. They're indirect stabs and they're only hurting her. And listen, I get it. I've been Vanessa,  and maybe you have too, sharing quotes that sound poetic, but they're actually passive aggressive punches wrapped in some beautiful cursive font.

But this episode, it's about what those quotes do to your mind, your brand, your piece, and how I want you to learn to flip the script. Here's the deal. Your brain loves negativity, and it's not your fault. It's biology. Negativity, bias is the scientific term for our tendency to notice. Focus on and remember the bad more than the good.

That's how we survived Saber tooth tigers and betrayal in the tribes. But now it's about showing up in your feed, your thoughts, your reposts, your late night scrolling. Scientists say that we react more strongly to negative images, words, and experiences. It takes five positive interactions to counter just one negative.

So when Vanessa shares a quote that's dripping with heartbreak,  she's actually amplifying her pain and ours. Now let's clear something up though. I'm not about toxic positivity. You know, the kind. Good vibes only. Everything happens for a reason. Just smile through it. No, that's also exhausting. It dismisses pain.

It ignores struggle, and it creates shame when you're really not feeling 100%. But here's the twist. Resharing heavy negative or revenge driven quotes isn't the opposite of toxic positivity. It's just a different kind of trap, one that keeps you stuck in the story. That you are what hurt you, and that's not the truth. That's programming. Let me tell you what I wanna see more of in my feed and what I hope you will consider quotes that honor real emotion and real growth.

Posts that remind you of who you are, not just what wronged you. Stories that don't just sting, but that sit you back together. Because your online presence, that's your energy deposit into the world. That's your mirror. And I want you to ask yourself, am I sharing this to feel seen or to throw shade? Is this empowering me or keeping me stuck in a pain loop?

What would my future me say about this post? You don't need to be performative. But you do need to be intentional because people are watching, but more importantly, you are watching you. You are the one that posts something and then goes back and rereads what you just posted six times to make sure it was perfectly perfect.

You are consuming what you are posting. So let's get practical for a minute. Here are five ways I want you to retrain your brain to break the negative cycle. First, I want you to practice installation. Rick Hanson says, when you have a positive moment, pause for 10 seconds and let it sink in.

That's how your praying. That is how your brain holds on to good. Two, reframe the narrative instead of they failed me. Try, I learned boundaries. Instead of I was left out, try, I created space for people who see me. Number three, share the flip. Try a weekly post that starts with a lesson and ends with a win like I used to chase approval.

Now I'm honoring my piece. Number four, set a quote filter before reposting ask. Is this a dagger or a door? Does it open me up or close me off? And number five, celebrate micro wins. A compliment, a good conversation, a breath of peace, screenshot the moments, make that your aesthetic. And back to Vanessa for a minute.

A few weeks ago she posted something a little different. Still emotional, but this time it ended with, I'm learning that forgiveness is for me. I sent her a message and I said, Hey, that one. That's the post that heals, and I want you to keep posting that one. You know what? She responded. I actually almost didn't post because it felt like I was being too much of a whiny brat.

I almost didn't post that because it felt like I was being too soft. Too soft. We've been taught that strength is cold, sharp, and ruthless. The softness, that strength within the soul.

And when you lead with that, people don't just scroll by, they stop. They feel they shift.

Let's talk about the ripple effect of this reframing not just in your heart or in your feed or what you see when you're not working, but truly in your business, in the company that you lead, and the company that you own. Because how you think is how you lead. When I coach CEOs, when I mentor business owners or speak on stages across the country, I see this pattern over and over again.

Those who stay in a space of bitterness attract burnout. Those who reframe, refocus, and root in hope, they grow, they lead, they build something lasting. I'm not coming to you as some all-knowing expert. I'm coming to you as someone who has lived it. I've been in the middle of the hurt, the betrayal, the quiet rebuilding, and if I can share even a portion of what I've learned in those trenches, that to me is success.

So whether you're running a company, starting a brand, leading a team, or just trying to be more intentional in your everyday life, I want you to hear this. The way you show up online, the way you reframe pain, the way you use your voice, it really does matter. Your audience, your clients, your team, they don't just hear what you say they feel what you embody.

Choose to lead with grounded confidence. Choose to model what healed leadership looks like. Now, let's wrap up this episode the way we always do with our That's good moment. We're gonna land all of this with a full heart. Your brain isn't broken for focusing on the negative. That ancient wiring helped keep your ancestors alive.

But you're not dodging saber-tooth tigers anymore. You're building a business, raising a family, healing through friendships. Trying to be better in your real life. And the truth is, is that you are more than what broke you. You are more than that quote that made your chest tighten at midnight.

You are more than your worst moment or someone else's misinterpretation of your story. So when the temptation hits to post the cryptic angry quote, I want you to stop. I and I want you to ask, is this my truth or is this my trigger? And then speak life. Share hope, lead with heart because someone out there needs to see that you are okay and not because you mask your pain with a trendy quote or a really beautiful and aesthetically pleasing post, but because you chose to build peace in spite of it.

And that's good. That's good because it means we're healing even in a world addicted to wounds. And that's good because your softness is not weakness. It is wisdom wrapped in warmth. And that's good because people are talking about you. They are praising you, they are watching your light. Even when you feel unseen, people aren't always talking bad about you.

They aren't always wishing for doom and gloom. They aren't always talking trash with other friends of yours. They don't always have it out for you. And if you ever need that reminder, I'll be here in this podcast in your corner and in your feed. Reminding you that people are speaking words of life, they are praying over you, they are caring for you.

They are wishing the best for you because you are deeply cared for and loved as a leader, as a business owner, as a friend, as whoever you are in your world. If you want to keep this conversation going, here's where you can find me on Instagram at no Silver Spoons Podcast or Mentor dot sbh. I have a personal branded website, which is sarah beth herman.com.

You can always find wherever we are streaming our podcast@podcast.dentistrysupport.com. I have many inner circles where you can join chats. You can find those both on LinkedIn and on Facebook. You can search the Dental Collaborative. Tag me when you flipped your quote. Use the hashtag That's good moment or no silver spoons so I can cheer you on.

Sources that grounded this episode are Rick Hanson and Hardwiring Happiness, the Washington Post. How to retrain Your Brain to be more positive in 2025. Greater Good Science Center at uc, berkeley positive psychology.com and the New York Post. Until next time, speak what's true. Share what heals and know this.

You were never meant to fit in someone else's box of bitterness. You are born to rise with softness and strength,  📍 I'll catch you on the next episode.