📍  Hey everybody. Welcome back to No Silver Spoons. I'm Sarah Beth Herman and your host on today's episode. I've been thinking about this episode for a while. I. I've been through a lot of challenges and changes across my businesses and brands over the last five years, and I've learned a lot about myself as a leader, who I don't wanna be, the company I want to run.

And I swear to you all of the things that I run through my mind about, I swear to you, I just change constantly. It's like who I thought my businesses were gonna be. My brands were gonna be. Who I was gonna be as a leader, that person 15 years ago is totally different than the person today. And so even though sometimes I talk about leadership when I'm standing in front of a crowd or I'm in a meeting with friends, or I'm meeting with clients, all of the ways I speak about it is who I am in that moment and what I've learned up until that moment.

The conversations I've been having lately have been beautiful, wonderful, and interesting, all at the same time. This episode is not gonna be about blaming others or staying stuck in resentment, but this episode is going to be about shining a light on the subtle ways that negative people shape our journey without us even realizing it.

And maybe that's something that you've been wrestling with because you know you've got a few people in your corner, in your circle. In your work environment that are just negative and it's just not working out and you don't know how to get past it, or maybe you don't even realize the negative people in your world, but I wanna help you see things a little differently.

You know that feeling when you look back and you realize, wow, I was carrying so much more than I should have been carrying. That's what we're talking about. If you've ever kept someone around just because you liked them. You thought they were a good employee that was gonna stick with you, stick by your side.

You thought their personality was really nice. You thought, wow, they really work hard in X, Y, Z area. So they'll do everything I need in A, B, C eventually. Or if they just won't do it, I'll just do it and it's not gonna matter because I think I need to keep them around because of blank. You're not alone. I know that slowly they have chipped away at your peace and your progress, and it's time for us to start recognizing those patterns and those behaviors together.

And so today I wanna share a few things that are deeply personal to me, but I hope it feels like I'm sitting beside you saying, I see you. I've been there, have been right here. And it doesn't have to be this way. There was a time that I had people in my company that I genuinely loved. Not just liked, but I loved them with my whole entire soul.

I saw something in them and I convinced myself that they were essential for me. I needed them to fill a role, a gap. I didn't want to face alone, so I overlooked things. Things like underhanded comments, nervous laughs on conference calls, little remarks that made me question my worth without even realizing it.

Things that put intrinsic thoughts in my mind that were so unhealthy, but these people were single-handedly putting them there and I was allowing it. They'd say things like, I just can't do that, or That's not really my thing. And instead of me confronting them, I would just take it on myself. I told myself I was strong and I can handle it.

I was made for this. This is my business. Step up to the plate. But what I was really doing was cleaning up messes that should have never been made for me. I was doing work they refused to do while quietly believing I needed them more than they needed me. Looking back, I know now that if someone isn't willing to take the hard calls, stand in the fire with you, do the work that seemingly no one else wants to do.

Call it janitor work. They don't belong in your vision. And this isn't about being harsh, it's about learning to be honest with your brand and that honesty is what sets you free and builds something sustainable. And if this feels familiar, I want you to hear me. Your piece is not too high. A price to protect and carrying the weight of others who choose not to carry their own isn't noble.

It's draining. There's actual research that backs up what many of us feel in our gut. A study out of the University of Michigan found that negativity in the workplace lowers productivity and collaboration by up to 40%. Let that sink in for just a minute, 40%.

It doesn't just ruin your vibe, it actually rewires how your team functions. And Barbara f Fredrickson's work in the broaden and build theory shows how positive emotions expand our creativity and problem solving. Negativity. Well, it shrinks our minds into survival mode. And survival mode isn't where creativity lives.

Think about how many times you've felt stuck, tired, overwhelmed, and then realize you've been surrounded by people constantly telling you why it won't work. Not in a direct way, but through tone, size, silence, or even disinterest. And that wears on you, not overnight, but slowly. And it's that slow erosion that does the most damage.

You deserve a work environment that lifts your brain, not one that crushes your belief on what's actually possible. And it doesn't matter how much money you make in that job, it still isn't worth it. I know so many men and women who have conversations with me daily that they stay in a job for the money.

Why are you staying in a job for the money? If everything around you is making your world miserable, you're somewhere five days a week so that you can have two days of freedom. What are you doing? Get out there, find something better, and if you can't find something better and you wanna stay where you're at, demand the change that you wish to see.

If this is the path you wanna be on, stake a claim for what you want to be right. Stake a claim for what you want to be different. Choose to change your environment and be the change maker. You don't have to run to another job. You don't have to run to build a new company, but you do need to run to protect yourself.

So whatever that run looks like, whatever that marathon is, make sure it works for you as a CEO. I've learned this.  If someone doesn't want to do the hard, monotonous and unglamorous work, they're not the right person for your business. And it's not because I don't wanna do those things. I have been doing those things I.

I started the brands, I started the business. I worked my way up. From the very bottom, I've done all the hard and monotonous things, and I've gained my way to a new level playing field, a new level of responsibilities. And so as I bring people in my organization, I have to have people who actually want to do the hard work, and it's not again.

Not because I don't wanna do it, but it's because I need people who are willing to do the work alongside me, who aren't just asking me to do the hard work alone, but are willing to do it with me so we can get to the greater end goal. The people who move your vision forward are the ones willing to get in the trenches without needing an applause for it.

Now, I will admit. It's very hard to find people like this. Very hard. You are not just going to read a resume and someone says, I like to get in the trenches with you. You're not going to walk up to a business professional who wants to be in business with you, and they're not just going to promise you all of the perfect things and then live up to it.

You have to learn to be a leader who is a change maker, who understands what skills and necessities must be instilled in this other person in order for them to work well with you. Now that person's decision to align with you is all on them. If they can't get an alignment, they gotta go. But if they can get in alignment, keep them there.

They're here for the long haul. These have been very hard earned lessons for me. I used to think my strength was in doing everything myself. If I just worked harder, I could cover everyone's gaps. But that thinking, it has nearly broken me many, many times. You can't grow when your babysitting dysfunction.

And what I had to realize, and maybe what you might need to hear is that delegation is not weakness. It is leadership. It is saying, I trust you to take this call. To handle this client, to solve this issue. And when someone shows you that they can't or they won't, or they're hemming and hawing about having to, you have a choice.

You can pick up the slack again, or you can hold the line and choose people who will rise to the standard your vision deserves. Let me be clear. The right people will never make you feel bad for holding them accountable. Let's just repeat that one more time. The right people will never make you feel bad for holding them accountable.

So write that on a sticky note. Put it on your monitor, add it to the wallpaper on your cell phone, whatever you gotta do. But don't forget that negativity doesn't always scream. Sometimes it whispers and it looks like nervous laughter when they're called out. Yes, but in every conversation, passive digs dressed up as jokes.

A constant pattern of needing more time, more training, more support, more questions, all the time, even quiet resistance to your growth. It took me years to realize that some people are addicted to drama, to being the victim or to never being the solution. And their presence in your business or your company or your organization becomes this invisible weight.

You don't owe anyone a front row seat to your dreams just because they've been around for a while. Loyalty without alignment is a trap. You don't have to actually scream to be heard. You don't have to be cold to be clear. Here are a few ways I've practiced being assertive without being disrespectful.

This task needs to be completed by Friday. What resources do you need from me to make that happen? Let's focus on what we can do, not why we can't do it. This isn't aligned with our best practices, so let's adjust. We need to be solution focused, not problem centered. I want you to learn to speak with kindness, but stand with clarity.

You don't owe softness to someone who keeps cutting corners. And if confrontation scares you, I want you to ask yourself, what does it cost me to stay silent? Because the longer you wait, the heavier things get. We've covered a lot in today's episode. I wanna give you your, that's good moment. The time of our episode where we go through just a quick recap on what we learned and what I want you to take with you.

Let's take a breath and ground ourselves in this truth. You are not overreacting if something feels off. Trust that negative people often come wrapped in charm. Delegating isn't giving up control. It's owning your role. You are allowed to want peace in your business and in your brand.

You are not responsible for someone else's refusal to grow. If you've been dragging your feet on a hard conversation, this is your sign. You don't have to carry it all. And sometimes the thing that feels like loss is actually your biggest gain. If this episode stirred something in you today, you're not alone.

You're not too sensitive, you're not traumatic. You're just done settling for less. And if you're feeling alone in your business or your organization, I want you to know that you're not too far gone to reach out. My first call is always complimentary. We can talk, you can tell me your story. You don't have to figure it out alone.

And yes, I do offer different ways to work together, but the first step, it's just a conversation on the house with me. And if that's not in your season right now, I want you to keep showing up here. Keep coming back to our episodes here at No Silver Spoons. This podcast is a space for you. This is me giving you what I wish someone had given me.

Honesty, clarity, and permission to want better because no one hands you a manual when you start a business. No one hands you a manual when you become a manager or a leader, or you start working or become a CEO. No one prepares you for how people can wound you with a smile or how leadership can feel like isolation, but you don't have to walk this road alone.

I see you. I believe in you, and I promise you what's ahead is worth it. Until next time, I'm Sarah Beth Herman, and I hope today brought you a little more strength, a little more clarity, and a lot more peace. I'll catch  📍 you on the next episode.