📍  Welcome back to No Silver Spoons. I'm Sarah Beth, and today after I thought about all of the feedback from last episode, I wanted to talk about passive mindsets and how I believe they're keeping you broke and bitter. So I'm gonna cut through all the noise and we're not gonna play surface level games here.

We're gonna get to the real root of why some of you are feeling stuck.

 Why some of you're feeling tired, maybe overwhelmed, and let's be honest, borderline hopeless. And I think that's mostly feelings surrounding the direction of your business, maybe the direction of your goals or maybe even your mindset. And I want this episode to not be about glamorizing success because I think that's very annoying to people that are already in a tough mindset.

But I want to instead call out the things that I believe are holding you back, the habits, the beliefs, the passive behaviors. The things that feel so familiar but are quietly killing your progress. And most importantly, I think that it's about replacing all of that with things that are intentional, like living out positivity, not the fake kind, not the Instagram quote kind, the actual real gritty, stubborn kind of hope that grows businesses and actually transforms lives.

And I wanna start with the lie of fake it till you make it. And if I'm being honest with you, I'm done being polite about this one. You've heard the phrase, and you've probably said it, fake it till you make it. But I'm telling you right now that it's not a strategy. That is survival wrapped up in a smile.

And if you're still building your life based on that, you are setting yourself up to fail hard the minute that things get real.

The truth is, is that faking, it creates internal chaos. Studies from the American Psychological Association show that surface acting, pretending to feel emotions, you don't actually feel that is what leads to burnout. That's what leads to anxiety and even decreased job performance. And maybe you're saying, well, why?

Because it fractures your identity. You are showing one version of yourself while feeling another. You don't have to pretend that you're already successful, but you do have to live like someone who knows what they're building is worth it. You don't need to fake confidence. You need to practice integrity,

passive mindsets. They're comfortable and that's what's dangerous. You know what passive behavior looks like. If it's meant to be, it will happen mentality. It's scrolling through content while telling yourself that you're just researching. It's sitting on that business idea for another year, because timing isn't right.

I did that. I did that with this podcast. You've heard me talk about that in several episodes. I actually sat on the idea of this podcast for three years before I launched it. I tried to bring all these other people in with me hoping that their somehow seemingly successful life and speaking would make my idea of a podcast even better.

But what I realized is people just wanted to hear from me that isn't in a conceited way that I'm saying it. That's the truth. That's what I learned in this process. Now, does everyone in the whole wide world listen to this podcast? No. Has it generated a ton of money for me? Absolutely. I've gotten new clients, I've gotten brand deals, I've gotten sponsors, all because I decided to take a bet on myself.

Here's what passive really is. Passive is a decision to stay comfortable. And comfort when left unchecked becomes complacency and complacency becomes regret. A 2022 survey from McKinsey and Company showed that 72% of small business owners reported fear of failure as the top reason for inaction, even when they had resources, when they had the ideas, when they had the time.

So think about that. The last episode you just listened to, we talked about the friend of mine that literally said, SarahBeth, you have all of it. You have the money. It's not hard for you, but according to this study in 20 22, 70 2% of small business owners reported fear of failure as the top reason for inaction.

Even the ones that had resources, ideas, time, and money. Think about that. Nearly three quarters of people are stuck, not because they can't, but because they're afraid to try. It doesn't matter if you still have kids at home. Doesn't matter if you're newly married. It doesn't matter if you work a nine to five or a 10 to seven or a graveyard shift somewhere, you cannot be afraid to try.

Now, I get it, if you don't wanna be an entrepreneur, but if that's your truth, why are you even listening to this podcast episode? Comfort will lie to you. It will tell you that staying small is safe, but what it really means is that you're trusting fear more than you're trusting faith, growth demands, discomfort, and your next level won't come with a welcome mat.

Positivity isn't passive, in my opinion. It's a weapon. So let's break down this myth that being positive means being naive. That's nonsense. And I won't tolerate it because I've been being told that my whole life. You're naive, Sarah Beth. You just think everything's gonna be okay. Being positive.

For me, it's not about ignoring reality, it's choosing to reshape it. There's a big difference there. It's being proactive instead of reactive. Think about this for a moment. Dr. Barbara f Fredrickson, a leading researcher in positive psychology, found that people with higher levels of positive emotion build stronger relationships, perform better under stress, and create more innovative solutions.

Her broaden and build theory literally proves that positivity expands your capacity for action. It's not just nice, it's neuroplastic. It rewires your brain to see more. The most powerful people I know don't deny hard seasons. They face them with vision.

They hold their heads high, not because life is easy, but because they refuse to let struggles define them. Positivity is the refusal to let your current storm rewrite your destiny. Now listen, I don't say this lightly, but I block people and a lot of them not out of anger, but out of alignment.

I block anyone who shows up on my feed pretending to have it all together while selling people a false narrative of ease and overnight success. Because what that creates is comparison. It creates shame. It creates pressure. Research from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology shows that spending more than 30 minutes a day on curated performative social media feeds leads to higher rates of anxiety and lower self-esteem.

So for me, that means you need to guard your peace, like you guard your passwords. Not everyone deserves access to your energy. Protect your feed, protect your focus, protect your future. I think we can all get on board with that. I wanna make something clear today. This is not a feel good podcast.

This is a get up and do something with your life podcast. You weren't handed a silver spoon. I don't expect you to operate like someone you imagine has one, but I want you to get out there and recognize that you were meant to make the spoon.

The most important shift you can make right now is this from what if it doesn't work to what if it does? It's not cheesy. It's actually essential to you getting through to the next step. People who succeed believe in what they're building even before it looks like much. And the way they get there is with intentional mindset work.

And that means you journal your thoughts. You choose what you speak out loud, you identify your emotional triggers, and you learn to pause before reacting. You learn to celebrate the smallest wins because small wins build the muscle of momentum. My husband and I talk a lot about that when it comes to debt.

We talk to a lot of people who are in debt or don't understand how we have a nearly $400,000 built out backyard, but we owe no money on it. We literally have paid everything off every loan we took out the parts that we paid cash only for, it's paid for. Now is it a perfect backyard? Is it the dream backyard of everyone ever?

No, it's not, but it's mine and I love it and it's paid for, and that is really important to us. Now some people will say, I need a lot of money for this. Or I have Bills amounting to this, or they don't know how to get outta debt. They don't even know how to celebrate paying off one small credit card, but they still got three more they gotta pay off.

You have to learn to celebrate as you go. You see, I might not have the dream life that everyone in the world wants, but I have the dream life I want, and every time I pay off a debt or I pay for something in cash and I don't take out a loan for it, or I keep my debt-to-income ratio below 25%. Every time I'm looking at the figures that matter to me, based on my income, on my expenses, on the things I'm trying to accomplish in my world, and I celebrate those small successes, it keeps me motivated, it keeps me inspired, even though there's a really big cookie I've gotta eat.

I've taken small bites to get the whole thing devoured, and I'm doing it successfully. Now. Have I made all the perfect financial decisions? No. Do I make all the best business decisions? No. Am I still trying to figure out a lot of things? Absolutely. But I'm celebrating as I go. Every time you say this probably won't work.

Your mind starts collecting evidence to prove you right. Speak better, think better. Live better. You are either planting seeds or pouring poison every single day.

I walk into rooms where literally no one knows my history, my resume, or my story, but my mindset walks in. First. It's my tone, my presence, my posture, my pause before I speak, and people feel that. They feel the difference between someone hoping it all works out and someone who decided already that it's going to.

I'm confident wherever I'm going is gonna be awesome. I go sit on other podcasts and I walk in the room and they're like, wow, your energy is so different than the last person that was just in here. Do I have it all figured out? No. Do I know that it's going to be great? Yes, do. Sometimes I fumble my words.

Ah-huh. Yeah, for sure. But I've already decided it's gonna be amazing. So, you don't have to have it all figured out, but you do have to believe in what you're building. Loud enough that the room leans in to hear what you're saying.  Let's wrap up this episode today. Here's your, that's good moment. This is the part where we don't just feel inspired, we actually do something.

We recap what we learn in this episode. We go through all the, that's good stuff. So your highlights from today, we don't fake it till you make it. That is toxic and that is not true. You live the life that you know you were called to be in. Passive behavior is a decision and it's costing you your purpose, positivity.

It rewires your brain, it builds your resilience, it expands your capacity. Who you follow affects how you feel. So, choose wisely. Growth isn't magic, it's movement and mindset drives it. I'm gonna give you some action steps on this episode two, there's gonna be five, so get a pen and paper or grab your notes app on your phone and let's get these down.

One, I want you to write a new core belief. Say something like, even when it's hard, I choose to see opportunity. Post it, repeat it, put it on a sticky note. Put it in your stories. Send an email out to every single one of your friends about it. Number two, audit your scroll block or mute. Five accounts that make you feel small, behind or fake.

Not enough in comparison. Whatever it is, block five. Or mute them if you don't wanna block them 'cause you don't wanna offend somebody, cool, mute them. I do it all the time.  Number three, practice a daily mindset anchor journal, three things you're grateful for and one challenge you're tackling with strength.

Number four, speak your truth out loud. Even if your audience is only you, your voice needs to hear that you believe in it. Number five, find one new positive on purpose, habit, and commit to it for 30 days, whether it's waking up earlier, showing up on your stories or reading for 10 minutes instead of scrolling.

These are yours to get done. Now. There's no ribbon wrapped answer to success, but there is strategy, and it starts in your mind. You don't have to fake anything. You don't have to apologize for being real, and you don't have to wait for a sign. This is your sign. I'm proud of you for being here, for listening today, for owning your own energy.

If you're looking for someone to speak at an event that you have coming up, I'd love to be there front and center, taking 10 minutes of your audience's time to help them change their mindset. Change the trajectory of where their lives are headed, how they're growing, how they're growing, changing from fake it till you make it.

To own it, cause you've got it. Let's build something better together, braver and Boulder. You can check the show notes for links on how to book me as a speaker at your next event. You can also check the show notes for opportunities to be mentored by me. I'd love to add you to my calendar and pour into your business and your world.

I'm Sarah Beth Herman, and you're listening to No Silver Spoons. I'll catch you on the next episode where we're building 📍 from grit, not glitter.