Hello and welcome to season two of Dentistry Support the Podcast with your host, the kindhearted and infectious Sarah Beth Herman. We're back for a new season and ready to pack a punch. In every episode, we'll be sharing you quick, impactful insights into the challenges our dental community and leaders in all industries face.

Expect a little bit of flair, a few laughs, and you might even recognize a friend or two. Because of you, we are the number one podcast in dentistry and number one in management and business, and we couldn't be more excited. to keep bringing you practical wisdom and leadership with a servant's heart. All delivered in just enough time for your commute or morning team huddle.

We're glad you're here. So let's get into it. Please welcome your host, Sarah Beth.  Thank you for being 

here. Welcome back to the show.  Today's conversation I thought long and hard about. I hemmed and hawed over what this podcast would say, how I would write it, how I would talk to you all today. I want to talk about something that's really heavy on my heart and get a little bit more real with you in this episode.

I want to talk about breaking through limiting beliefs.  Those quiet barriers that keep us from reaching our true potential.  I really believe that life is worth living on purpose because the moment you were created, you were designed to be something extravagant. And I believe that many of us live our lives without ever reaching that full potential because we're so afraid of risk.

We're so afraid of failure.  We're afraid of what failure means and how it actually comes to fruition.  If you're like me and you've ever questioned your abilities, doubted your next step, or felt like you're holding yourself back, I want you to know you're not alone. And sometimes that feeling of you're holding yourself back, that is brought about in a different way.

Not just the I'm not stepping forward in faith, but really the whole aspect of Man, I'm scared if I do this and I experience a loss financially, or if I do this and I lose a friend, or if I do that and I don't make a friend, then that means all is lost.  There's so many thoughts and feelings that are part of what our journeys look like every day, especially for those of us that are leading businesses, leading teams, leading families. 

And maybe this is the perfect time that I can share with you that I have a project I've been working on since April of this year.  In 2025, I'll be launching the Blueprint to Breakthrough container. It is designed for those of you who have the blueprints of your business. Maybe you've already started your business.

Maybe you just want to level your business up.  You want to move forward in your business and your personal growth.  This program will guide you through building a strong foundation from the ground up, going all the way to the start of the second quarter, 16 full weeks.  And here's the best part. I don't want you doing this alone.

Accountability is powerful.  So once the tickets drop, I'll be offering a buy one, get one deal.  If you register early,  if you purchase your ticket, you'll be able to bring a friend, a co worker, a spouse, a sister, a brother, a mother, anyone along with you for just 50.  My hope is that you'll be able to work alongside someone you trust, growing and holding each other accountable every step of the way. 

I want you to know everything about the Blueprint to Breakthrough program, and all of those details are listed in the link in the show notes below.  All right, now that you're in on that, let's get to today's topic.  I am in a season right now where so much is going well.  I swear every week I have a new speaking engagement.

I'm a guest on a different podcast. I have partnerships coming out of the woodworks. and projects I am so passionate about.  But recently, I lost a long time employee and one of my favorite clients. All in the same week.  It's tough.  That loss stirred up some self doubt and made me question things, even with all the good happening around me. 

So today, I want to talk about how I'm working through this.  Facing those nagging beliefs that try to tell me I'm not doing enough  and what I'm learning along the way.  So let's go.  I want to start by sharing something that's been true for me since I stepped into leadership.  Our reactions set the tone for everyone around us. 

If you are in a role where others look up to you, you've probably felt this too. When something goes wrong or changes suddenly, people naturally look to their leader. And if we're being honest, there have been times I have wanted to throw my hands up and let worry take over because it's just more natural.

It's more natural to get mad, to get sad, to sulk,  to feel like, why is this happening to me when I work so hard?  I've learned over the years. That how I handle those situations has a huge impact on my team. They take their emotional cues from me, much like a child to its mother or father.  So if I bring stress or doubt, they feel it too. 

I think of John Maxwell here.  He talks about how leadership is about influence and not just action.  He says, a leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.  I love this idea because it reminds me that leadership isn't just about solving problems. It's not just about making a goal, making sure we're getting traction here, making sure that we met metrics or numbers, but rather it's about setting an example.

Even when we're not sure of the answer ourselves, we still set the example.  So when those doubts creep in, I remind myself to pause.  and ground myself before bringing any of that to my team.  Sometimes it means I call a friend, I send a text message, I say a quick prayer, I say a mantra to myself,  sometimes I call my lawyer, sometimes I call my husband,  sometimes I just need to talk to anyone except for me, because I'm my own worst enemy in the moment. 

It's not about hiding your feelings. It's about processing them in a way that allows you to show up strong for others.  You see, when I lost that longtime employee and I lost that client,  it shook me. It shook me to my core, actually, because it was two big hits in one week.  That team member was someone who'd been with me for five years,  and their leaving felt like losing a piece of our journey together. 

My first instinct was to hold on to that sadness. To share with my team and immediately tell them all of the shifts, changes, hires, and things that had to be in place immediately.  But I realized that wasn't what they needed from me.  They needed steadiness, reassurance. So I took a breath. I centered myself  and I made the choice to show up calm.

and grounded for them.  It was about creating that sense of stability for everyone around me.  I had a therapist say to me one time,  you're one breath away from happiness.  One breath away.  Sometimes it feels like taking that breath when you're in the middle of chaos, strife, uncertainty, doubts.  That one breath seems like a million breaths. 

But when you just take it down to the very lowest basic level, we are one breath away from happiness.  During moments of doubt, I remind myself that my team mirrors my energy. If I'm calm, they find calm. If I'm focused, they stay on track. Leadership is about creating stability, even when I may not feel it 100 percent myself. 

This season has brought me a mix of high points and hard losses.  We are expanding my business. I have four other companies that I'm simultaneously growing and expanding and scaling.  I'm exploring these exciting partnerships. I'm stepping into opportunities that I dreamed of not too long ago,  but alongside all of these wins,  there are goodbyes that are so hard for me to accept. 

Losing a longtime employee, And a client in one week is one of those things that no matter how experienced you are, they still sting.  I think a part of us always feels that if we're doing things the right way, people will stay forever. But the truth is, growth often means letting go of things or people, even when we wish that they would stay forever. 

The thing is, is that when you lose an employee or you lose a client or a customer,  sometimes it's really easy for our brains to default to what did I do wrong? How could I have changed the situation? What could I have done differently or better?  Sometimes that's not even the question that should be asked.

And sometimes there's no question to be asked. Sometimes seasons change. People change. Needs of the business change. That client?  They sold to a different organization. Their contract ended.  Their time owning their business ended. We're still friends.  Our services aren't needed.  They went in a different direction. 

If you're listening and you're going through something similar, I want to encourage you.  It is so natural to feel that sting, that moment of doubt or loss when something like this happens. And maybe your something isn't a loss of a team member or a loss of a client. Maybe it's something different. But as I'm learning, this is part of the journey. 

John Maxwell, I'm going to bring him up a couple of times today. But he talks about resilience a lot, and he says that resilience is something we build in the hard seasons. We don't grow by staying comfortable. We grow by adapting, by learning to face challenges and come out stronger.  In this season, I've come to realize that while I cannot control every outcome, I can control my response.

It's about choosing to see change as a pathway to growth. rather than something that I need to be resisting.  All right, let's talk about some tools that have helped me stay grounded when I'm having these moments of loss or moments of change.  If we're being honest, these experiences bring up all kinds of emotions, and it's really easy to let those emotions spiral if we're not careful. 

So here's three things I do. that I want you to try to practice yourself.  If you're in a place where you can take notes, take notes.  If you can't take notes and you want to have this information written out, In the show notes, there is a free digital download that is going to help you navigate through all of this.

I want you to check it out. As long as you use the promo code in the show notes, it will be free for you to download. So please check that out once you're finished listening to the show.  The first thing I do is center myself.  This sounds simple.  I want you to take a few deep breaths.  When things get overwhelming, this has been huge for me.

Studies actually show that deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms us down and allows us to regain our focus.  When I feel the weight of everything, I just take a moment to breathe,  and I remind myself that while things are uncertain, I'm still in control of my response. 

That deep breath is also helpful when you're in the middle of a tough conversation. Someone says something that you don't like. You don't have to immediately respond.  You can let there be silence and stillness in the air,  and you can just take a deep breath  and move forward.  Their emotions, their emotional state, their responses, they don't have to be your emotions. 

They don't have to be your emotional state. They don't have to be your response. You are in control of your responses.  Number two, reframing.  Reframing is about looking at these changes not as losses, but as opportunities for new things to come in. Viktor Frankl once said, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. 

I remind myself that every shift and movement in my business doesn't mean something's gone wrong.  Instead, it's an invitation to realign and to open the door to a new perspective, new energy, and maybe even unexpected growth. What I mean by that is when that employee left, that was so hard for me to cope with.

I almost can't put into words how sad it was for me,  but what resulted of that  Was grooming and developing a team twice the size I had before, a better balance of responsibilities, more structure, more accountability, a better pathway forward, the use of new systems and processes that made us more efficient,  it was beautiful,  unexpected growth.

That client that left, that sold their business.  Them leaving us opened the door for a 28 group practice to come in.  What a beautiful gift.  Had that not happened, yes, we're scalable and we can handle the influx.  But what a beautiful gift that was given to us  right in the nick of time.  Number three, taking the next step, even if it's small,  when doubt creeps in, when fears come to take over, taking one small step forward can make a huge difference.

Whether it's organizing my day, reaching out to a friend of mine, setting up a meeting, any small action I take creates a rhythm.  Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, said, Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.  Each small step we take is a reminder that growth often comes beginning's end.

From the study consistent steps rather than huge leaps.  I remind my team of this  when we have a period of time when we don't have a high volume of sales calls.  If there's not a high volume of sales calls. This is a great opportunity for us to increase the tick or the amount of ticks we're making on the marketing efforts we have.

So we just keep going. We don't just stop. We don't scramble. We don't freak out. We don't call a bunch of people into a bunch of meetings to figure out why it's not working. We just get to work harder. We just go get it done.  Reframing setbacks as stepping stones isn't always something that's been really easy for me or something that will be easy forever, but it's something that I have to do. 

When I learn to shift my view, I teach myself. I teach my team. I teach us both that resilience is a part of our culture. It's not just something we talk about, it's something that we live out. My team has to live out resilience. Your team has to live out resilience. You all have to learn that together.  One of the most empowering things I've done in times that I literally feel like I can't get out of my chair at my desk has been to reach out to my mentors, people that inspire me or people that I feel like are in my business corner.

You know, there's a lot of people that will be in your life, family members, friends, colleagues.  But only a handful of those people will truly be your business besties.  The ones that have wisdom and knowledge that want to get you to where you need to be. I have some amazing mentors who believe in me, even when I don't see the full picture myself. 

They taught me that I need to catch those unhealthy thoughts before they spiral and to actually reframe them into something positive and constructive. One of my mentors actually gave me a three page list of mantras. that are categorized into subcategories that teach me what I can say to myself when I'm feeling a specific emotion.

It's glorious. I absolutely love it. Now, am I really good at grabbing that document whenever I'm having some crazy intrinsic thoughts or going through some wild experience? No,  I don't always grab it. I'm not great at doing it, but I have it as a tool and I do use it.  I think it is such an important part of leadership to know when to lean on others. 

I think when I was first in leadership, when I first started really taking on the role of leading other people and recognizing that I was someone people looked up to,  I don't think I knew to lean on others. I think it was easier to just quit, walk away, and say that's not meant for me and I shouldn't go do that.

But as I've evolved as a leader, I've learned that you don't just quit when it gets hard. You don't give up because it's a challenge right now. You keep going.  Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.  John Maxwell there.  Mentorship has been something that has helped me not only see my influence,  but learn to see my influence during moments of doubt.

During the really hard stuff.  Sometimes all it takes is one conversation with someone who believes in me, who reminds me why I'm on this very path, this very space that I consume of this big gigantic world.  Sometimes I just need someone to remind me that,  so that I can regain the clarity and the purpose that I have.

With guidance from mentors, I remember that every challenge I face is an opportunity to lead, not just through words, but the way that I approach every single obstacle.  As I work through this season,  I often think about what I would say to myself a year from now.  If I could look back  and just see me, I'd remind myself that things tend to work out. 

Even if they don't follow my exact plan,  every obstacle has a purpose. Every challenge has a lesson.  Even when it's really, really hard to see, I believe that there is always a greater plan in play.  Maxwell had another quote that I love.  You don't overcome challenges by making them smaller, but by making yourself bigger. 

That's what I'd want my future self to remember.  Each tough moment isn't here to bring me down. It's here to build me up,  to make me stronger and more capable for what's next.  What would you say to yourself  if you could look back a year from now?  Would you remind yourself that true growth rarely comes from smooth sailing? 

Would you remind yourself that it's the challenges and the changes that refine you, even when they don't make sense in the moment?  What would you say to yourself?  Maybe that's what you need to hear today.  Let's talk about our that's good moment, the time that we recap all the things that we've talked about today that you can take with you, because I want you to take this with you. 

First, your reactions matter  during crazy moments, because you're going to have them. I want you to remember that your response sets the tone for others. Center yourself. Take a breath. Lead with calm.  Growth includes change. Every goodbye or shift is an opportunity to build resilience.  Change is a part of progress, even if it feels bittersweet. 

Number three, use the practical tools that you have.  Stay grounded with centering techniques. Reframe setbacks as fresh starts.  And take the steady, small actions to keep moving forward.  And number four, lean on your support network.  Mentors and a solid community help you see beyond your doubts and stay focused on the bigger picture. 

If you don't have a support system,  you can follow me personally on Instagram at mentor. sbh.  I have a subscription program that's literally one dollar a month  and I've got a great network and group of people. I would love for you to be part of that.  If there's still a few spots at 50 percent off, you might be able to snag your membership for 0.

49 a month. I'm not sure, but don't hold me to that, but go check it out if you can. I want you to remember that every season brings its own purpose. And if you're facing changes and challenges, know that you're not alone. There is a million other people out there that are also facing challenges.  Every moment you have is here to shape you into a stronger, wiser version of yourself. 

I look forward to chatting with you every week, and if you need more insight, if you want more insight, if you're yearning for more, and especially if you're in the dental industry, I have a free training page on my website dentistrysupport. com forward slash free training. And again, check the show notes for information on Blueprint to Breakthrough and what that's going to look like. 

It's time to start setting your intentions for next year.  Thank you for listening and I'll catch you on the next episode. 

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Dentistry Support the Podcast. If you want to get in on the conversation or have something to share, join us on our Facebook group, The Dental Collaborative.

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