📍   Welcome to Dentistry Support the Podcast. I am Sarah Beth Herman, and today we're going to get a bit more personal. This episode isn't just about dental, leadership, entrepreneurship, or strategies for your business. Today is about my story, well, a few parts of it.  The ups and downs that I've experienced and how those moments have shaped the person I am today. 

I believe who we are as leaders is deeply connected to the journeys we've walked. And I want to share a bit of mine with you.  Recently, I had the privilege of being a guest on the Pulse Ox podcast, and the experience was so amazing. The host didn't just ask me about my work, my theories, my thoughts and philosophies.

He really wanted to know my story. And one of the most memorable questions I was asked was if I could go back and talk to the 10 year old me, the 12 year old me, the 16 year old self, what would I say?  The answer that kept coming to mind was take the chance, do the thing.  But to really understand why that's my answer, you have to know a bit about where I came from. 

I didn't come from money, far from it, actually. My childhood was marked by challenges that at the time seemed so normal to me. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how far from normal they really were.  We lived in a small white farmhouse on five acres. And while that might sound idyllic, it was anything but.

We rented that house and I know that because all of the finances of our family were very well known to all of us. Children. My mom and stepdad often had arguments that really rang through the entire house.  That little white farm house became the backdrop for about five years of my childhood.  Those five years were filled with the kind of experiences that no child should have to endure.

Yet they also shaped the person I am today.  I won't be able to share all of the details, but I want to illustrate what my life was like.  During the most formative years of my growth.  I want to share these details about my life because it's important to understand what a growing child is learning and absorbing  those formative years. 

Between 4th and 6th grade, our brains are developing rapidly. We're forming our identities, figuring out who we are, and starting to understand our place in the world.  For many kids, this is a time when they're surrounded by positive role models, learning to build confidence and competence.  But for me, the examples I had didn't nurture that growth.

They often did the opposite.  Instead of lifting me up, the lack of support and the struggles I faced could have easily held me back. But somehow, those very challenges set me apart. They forced me to dig deep. To find resilience and determination within me  and to also believe that I could rise above my circumstances.

It was during these years that I learned to rely on myself  to carve out my own path to success, even when the odds seemed so insurmountable.  You see, during those years, between fourth and sixth grade, a child's brain is laying the foundation for who they will become, um, cognitively. Emotionally and socially.

This is when we start to navigate relationships and develop the skills that guide us into adulthood.  Statistics show that these years are especially important for building resilience and adaptability, particularly for those of us who face adversity.  While many children benefit from having strong role models and supportive environments, my experience was different. 

The challenges I faced and the absence of support could have easily stunted my growth.  But instead they taught me lessons in self reliance and determination. Research shows that those who overcome early adversity often develop a stronger capacity for success later in life.  My story is proof that even when early experiences are far from ideal, they can still drive a remarkable aspect of our personal growth and achievement. 

The farmhouse, it was old and worn a place that seemed to be holding together by sheer willpower. I think.  I remember the living room vividly. It had an olive green carpeting.  The living room had a huge hole right in the middle. The hole was big enough that I could fit my arm through it and that I could see the dirt under the house through that hole. 

The carpeting was tattered all around it. The hole was so big we could see the dirt under the house right through it.  We didn't have the money to fix it, so we just walked around it, day in and day out, accepting it as part of our reality. Which blows my mind, because it was never an embarrassment. I was never humiliated by it.

I still had friends spend the night. Family still came over. Seemingly no one ever said we should fix the floor.  The bathroom was another story. There was only one. There was eight of us children and two adults.  Whenever we turned the water on, we had to let it run for a little while because the first thing that came out of it was what I think was maybe rust or dark, dirty water. 

It didn't bother me. I just let it run a little bit and then brushed my teeth.  There were times we ran out of propane and had no heat in the house.  When it was winter, I remember it being really cold.  Food was a constant struggle too.  We lived on a small farm that had cows, pigs, goats, and chickens. We even had a small garden, but here's the thing.

We didn't use a lot of that for ourselves.  My stepdad at the time, he was a hunter, and so we would have deer meat, and then we also would be able to get the eggs from the chickens, and we had a very interesting relationship with the local hostess in our town that we lived in,  , were able to get for free all of their expired foods, and so we would take our van at the time and fill that van with expired foods, and we would live on that food. 

For however long we could.  It is amazing to me to think that I lived on expired food. It's so weird now,  but it was my reality. It was normal to us kids. We loved having the treats. When we didn't have the expired food from hostess or the deer meat, we relied on food stamps. And when they ran out,

we simply went without.  I remember clearly that I only had two outfits to my name, just two.  Keeping those outfits clean and presentable was a challenge in itself, especially when they were all that I had.  But I remember early on, that's when I really loved doing my hair. I loved getting ready. I loved having something that was a part of me that was put together. 

I remember stealing my first deodorant from my best friend's house because we couldn't afford to buy it, but I knew somehow I needed it.  To this day, I always have a back stock of deodorant. It's weird how things can change you. How they can design what you find to be comfort.  These weren't just inconveniences in my life.

They were part of a life that was hard. And at times it was humiliating.  But despite everything, I believe that just because I didn't have much didn't mean I couldn't become much.  Those experiences, They taught me resilience and determination. They instilled in me the belief that no matter how humble your beginnings, your future can be as successful as you dare to make it. 

My upbringing wasn't just about financial struggles and you're getting a tiny window into that.  There was also emotional and mental anguish too. Through all of it. I always remember my mom being such a source of peace and kindness.  She always worked hard, most times multiple jobs, but there was a lot of us. 

She also struggled with addiction, which eventually led us to becoming estranged for nearly 15 years.  I still hold onto the memory of her being incredible in her way.  She passed away in 2022. And even though we had been distant for a really long time, her death was devastating. Addiction is a terrifying thing.

It can take the most beautiful people from your life.  I couldn't save her, but I made a promise to myself many times. And to those around me and in my circle that I would create a better future, even though I couldn't save hers.  If I could go back and talk to the 10, 12, 16 year old self,  that sweet girl,  I'd tell her something really important.

Where you are now is not where you are meant to go.  That is such an important lesson in our journey of growth. It's easy to feel stuck when you're surrounded by hardship, but those moments don't define where you're going to end up. They're just a starting point.   When I look back at my childhood, I see a lot of hardship and a lot of lessons learned.  Many lessons you will continue to learn as you listen to this podcast.  The old farmhouse, the olive green carpeting,  the floor with the hole in it, the cold winters when heat was on sometimes and off sometimes,  the scarcity of food,  The free expired food, those two precious outfits,  they were all part of a life that was far from easy, 



they were also part of a life that built in me the strength to succeed.  Those experiences are why I'm here today, sharing my story with you and why I believe so deeply that our pasts shape us, but they don't have to define us.  We can choose to take the lessons we've learned and use them as fuel to drive us forward.

To achieve things we once thought were impossible.  And that's exactly what I've done.  You see, I believe every successful person has a story. Stories are what drives us.  The vast majority of millionaires, nearly 88 percent are self made. 

That means they did not inherit their wealth. 

Many of these individuals like me come from challenging backgrounds. They face struggles just like I did, and they use those struggles as fuel to propel themselves forward, not to choose to be a victim.  Research shows that those who face adversity often develop a higher degree of resilience, determination, and adaptability.

In fact, one study found that around one third of millionaires in the United States were first generation wealthy. They started with nothing and built their wealth from the ground up.  That's what I want to focus on.  The idea that your struggles, your challenges don't have to hold you back.  They can be the very things  that get you to where you're meant to be. 

I want you to think about your own story, what challenges you faced, what trials have defined you.  We all have something, something that has tested us, pushed us, made us stronger. And all of those experiences are what shape our drive and our ambition and our ability to lead.  When I think back to my early years, I realized those experiences taught me resilience.

They taught me the importance of taking risks.  And truly if I could go back and tell my 10, year old self anything, it would be to trust in her own strength and to keep pushing forward no matter what.  Last week I shared a free training on leadership on one of my websites.  It wasn't just about providing tools or strategies.

It was about sharing the mindset that has allowed me to overcome the challenges that I've had in my life and to find success.  To me, leadership isn't just about managing a team or running a successful business. It's about really believing in myself, in my ability to make a difference. Even when the odds are stacked against me, even if no one likes me, even if it doesn't look like the future is going to turn out the way I hope it will. 

I want to leave you with something today that's been weighing on my heart,  a reminder that your goals, your dreams, and what you want to become are valid.  It's easy to fall in the trap of thinking that you need to wait for the perfect time, that you'll get to your dreams when timing is better or when life isn't so hectic. 

But here's the truth. There will never be a perfect time. 

 Waiting doesn't make your dreams any more certain. It only delays the journey you need to take to get there.  I was speaking to a friend of mine a few weeks back. She told me that she'd always dreamed of becoming an interior designer.

But she told me that she's waiting until her kids are out of the house to start pursuing it. I had to stop her and say, No, you need to do it right now.  The reality is, is that if she keeps waiting, the dream might always stay just out of reach. 

But if she starts now, even if it's in small, tiny steps, she's already on her way to making that dream a reality.  I think there's a lot of you out there. I'm guilty of that in new things I want to pursue.  I talked in that interview on Pulse Ox about the fact that I waited three years to start this podcast and now we're the number one podcast in five different categories. 

I'm encouraging you to do what I told her.  I know that sometimes it feels like you don't have the energy or that it's not the right moment, but I'm telling you right now to fight through that feeling. Don't let the voice of doubt keep you from moving forward. Your path is important. Your dreams are valid.

Your desires are there for a reason and the world needs what you have to offer.  I want to ask you right now to take a moment and think about your own life, the way it has progressed until now. What is your story? What experiences have shaped you into the leader, the business owner, the man, the woman that you are today? 

Most importantly, what small voice in your head have you been ignoring because it seems too risky, too difficult, too out of reach? You just don't have the energy.  What's that dream you've been putting on hold and waiting for the right time?  Take the chance. Do the thing. You are capable of far more than you realize. 

I have a thought on one thing that I really hope you hold on to today.  If and when you're facing struggles, because it will happen, if it hasn't already,  know that you're not alone. Many of the most successful people I know, even millionaires, started from a place of struggle.  

It's often those very struggles that propel us forward.  They teach us resilience, they shape our character, and they gift us the nudge that says I won't stay where I am and nothing will stand in the way of me getting to blank. Fill it in. What's your blank?  Before we close out this episode, here's your TGM, your that's good moment for the day. 

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today. That's from Franklin D. Roosevelt.  If there's anything I want you to really hold on to from this episode. It's that you're capable of so much more than you think. Don't let doubt hold you back. Push forward, take the chance, do the thing because your dreams are worth pursuing and your goals are worth fighting for. 

Thank you for joining me today on Dentistry Support the Podcast. I hope my story resonates with you and that it inspires you to reflect on your own journey. If you haven't already, I encourage you to check out the free training on dental leadership that I shared last week.  It's packed with insights and strategies that can help you on your path to success. 

And remember, as you continue to listen to this podcast, you'll keep learning more about me, my story, and lessons I've learned along the way.

But more importantly, I hope you'll discover something valuable about yourself too. 

Something that pushes you to take action on your dreams today, not tomorrow.  If you ever need support, guidance, or just a little bit of encouragement, you know where to find me. You can text me through this podcast you're listening to, or head to one of my websites.  Let's keep moving forward together, taking the chances, doing the things, trusting in our ability to get through the journey. 

Your dreams are waiting for you. Don't make them wait any longer  until next time. Take care and keep believing in yourself. You got this. I'll catch you  📍 on the next episode.