Thank you for joining me on episode eight of dentistry support the podcast. Leland Val Vanderwall said the degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth that they can accept about themselves without running away. Let's take a second to repeat that quote. Please forgive me for the redundancy. The degree to which a person can grow. Is directly proportional to the amount of truth. They can accept about themselves without running away. Have you ever heard of emotional intelligence? In a previous episode, I talked about it just briefly. But your feedback led me to believe this should be the very first episode where I talk about it. If you don't know what emotional intelligence is, the true definition of EI. Refers to the ability to understand. And recognize and manage one's own emotions as well as the ability to recognize, understand and influence the emotion of others. It encompasses and a range of skills and competencies that enable individuals to navigate social interactions. Build and maintain relationships. And effectively keyword. Cope with the demands of daily life. There are four main components of emotional intelligence that I'm going to talk about. Self-awareness self-regulation social awareness and relationship management.
And this podcast today, you're either going to be really triggered because I'm going to say some things that you really don't want to hear. Or you're going to find yourself inspired to level yourself up, get to the next level so that you can really be a generational leader. Before we dig in, I'm going to repeat that quote. One more time. The degree to which a person can grow. Is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves. Without running away. If you're wondering how emotional intelligence could possibly relate to leadership. Dentistry business or any other category other than mental health?
Well, let me tell you this. Emotional intelligence is probably the most relevant thing. To working and leading others, emotional intelligence plays a critical role in actually fostering positive experiences. And creating that effective teamwork that you're all looking for. And then driving the overall business success, which is really what we're after, but we've got to do all this other stuff just to get there. There are three specific ways that emotional intelligence directly impacts your business and your leadership. And for lack of a better word, your progress for where you can go and the categories of patient or customer experience. Team collaboration and leadership, even practice management and business success.
Emotional intelligence involves the following key components. The first self-awareness. This means that you recognize and understand your own emotions, including things that trigger you, your strengths, your weaknesses, the impact on your own behavior. Self-aware individuals are attuned to their own thoughts and feelings that allows them to accurately assess their strengths and areas for growth.
Number two is self-regulation. Self-regulation refers to the ability to actually manage and control your emotions, the impulses you have, the reactions you have, especially those in challenging or stressful situations. It means that you maintain composure. You resist impulsive actions, and that you can have adapting flexibility to changing circumstances. Individuals with strong self-regulation skills.
They effectively channel their emotions in a constructive way, and they can demonstrate resilience
. Even when they have adversity. And the third one is social awareness. So social awareness involves recognizing and understanding the emotions needs and perspectives of others. It includes empathy, which is the ability to accurately perceive how someone else understands something. Or how they have an emotion towards something. It also means that you have the capacity for perspective. Meaning that you take or see situations from different viewpoints. If you are someone who is socially aware, You are sensitive to social cues and adapt to navigating interpersonal dynamics.
And then number four is relationship management. So relationship management actually encompasses the ability to build and maintain healthy, positive relationships with other people. It means that you have effective communication. Active listening. Conflict resolution collaboration skills. Individuals that would Excel and relationship management. Can inspire and influence other people.
They foster teamwork and cooperation and they navigate. What interpersonal conflicts come up in a constructive manner. I believe emotional intelligence as a critical factor in personal and professional success, because it makes you able to manage your emotions. Navigate social interactions and then build strong relationships. As a leader. Your goal should be high emotional intelligence.
When you do that. You are better equipped to inspire and motivate your teams. So if you're having a challenge right now where you just can't get through to your team, You can't figure out why you're not connecting. You can't figure out why they don't just listen to you. I'm going to challenge you to work on your emotional intelligence. Having that strength is far greater than any degree you will ever spend time earning.
As you're mulling over the different details we're chatting about today. I want you to imagine. I think about and process. What kind of business you're in right now. Whether you work in the dental office for a group practice, you're not in dental at all. I just want you to process through and hone in on what exactly the environment is that you work in.
What similarities can you pull from the categories or examples? I'm going to give you. If you can pull any similarities, maybe even from past experiences. This is where you're going to pull and notice. Maybe even recognize where emotional intelligence is lacking in your environment. Listen up.
The first category. Is a business that has quite a bit of dysfunction. Maybe the owner of your business or the main leader in your business is constantly having to hire new people. It appears as though it's just a revolving door.
You can't keep staff there. Maybe you're brand new there. And you're noticing that there's always someone new starting or you're always having to interview. And it's not interviewing from a standpoint that you're just prepared, it's interviewing because you're always short-staffed or people are always quitting.
Or maybe you're this next scenario. Where the office manager, the leader, the owner. They've been there for quite a long time, right? Maybe 25 years. But maybe one area of the business constantly has turnover. So maybe it's a front office person, a back office person. There's constantly turnover in that one area where maybe a specific type of leadership is at. Or maybe you're in the third category. Where. The team they work together well. Everybody's been there for anywhere from three to seven years. It's pretty consistent.
Everybody's kind of work besties because you have a lot of different age groups, but for some reason you just kind of all make it work. You know what triggers not to react to, you know, how to not speak to your team, you know, things you avoid, you know, how to work well with the team because you guys have learned to just make it work together. Your team is pretty well oiled. It's a machine that keeps on going the gears fit together pretty much. Okay. Sometimes there's issues, but you know, There's office gossip. There's always something going on and maybe it's like the administrative team is really working well together, but you all know the owners absolutely kooky, but you stay around for each other. What kind of business do you fit in? Or maybe just one of the things and one of the businesses you fit into, but maybe not quite everything. Keep listening. Even out of all of the dental practices that I've interacted with personally. I have never found the perfect, even if they have a perfect online presence. I've never found the perfect office. I've never found the perfect team. And truly, I don't want to mislead you.
There is no such thing as perfect. And when you are developing a team and your own leadership and working through a business, you will have ebbs and flows all the time.
But I believe that if you're listening to this podcast, You know that there's some sort of underlining issue in your business that you really want to get a handle on. You might think we have a really happy office. We're doing really great. Or maybe you're thinking. I really want a happy office. I really want us to do great. I want to have a great connection with my team. Or maybe you're thinking there's absolutely no way we could be happy here because the doctor is insane.
You don't even know my office. You don't even know my office manager. It's always going to be a toxic place to work. And I'm just trying to find somewhere else to be. Or maybe you're the owner and you're like, there's no good talent here. I can't find anybody. And I just don't want to put all of this effort. And to a team that isn't going to stay with me forever. I don't know how to find the kind of people you're talking about.
Let me put you onto something. Things around you create happiness. The short-term things. That dopamine hit. That happens when you. Get a coffee for free. Somebody holds the door for you. When you have an experience with a patient where they compliment you or a customer gives you a great review.
Happiness is momentary. Joy. Is a deep feeling that you have, it's a piece of you. Despite the circumstances around you. Inside of you, you have joy.
I want to ask you. What are you doing in your business? To cultivate a joyful team. Is your team happy when you do things, when you buy them things, are they happy when you create small moments of happiness, like buying them a coffee or buying them lunch? Is there anything that you are doing in your leadership? Where you can actually feel the presence of joy when you walk in your office. There is absolutely a difference between happiness and joy.
I'm going to teach you exactly what that looks like.
I want you to learn how to appeal to the actual joy, the inner feeling of your team members to create an environment . Conducive to a higher case. Acceptance. To hire sales. And the overall success and betterment of your team and a future filled with generations of leadership that reaches far beyond you today, this week, or even in the next five years.
I am changing the dynamics of your business. So that future generations benefit. Because 100 years from now, you won't be remembered. But if you have done this leadership thing, right. People will unknowingly be living out habits created as a result of who you are right now. And that is the generation, a leadership mission that we're on today.
Let's talk about how emotional leadership actually matters in a few different categories that can resonate with your business. So the first is patient care or experience and communication.
The three different aspects of emotional intelligence are the empathy, social awareness and relationship management. , if we talk about all three of those, as they relate to patient care, experience and communication, A dental team or a team of professionals with high emotional intelligence can empathize with patients who experience anxiety, fear, or discomfort during dental procedures or while they're in your office. When you understand and validate your patients' emotions, you actually build trust. You increased case acceptance because patients aren't too scared. To be there. You improve the overall experience.
Social awareness. So when your team is socially aware, It allows your dentist to pick up on nonverbal cues and actually communicate with your patients that may have diverse backgrounds. For example, I worked with a group practice , that handled adults with disabilities addictions. There is a totally different dynamic when you can pick up on those nonverbal cues that come from those patients. And totally transform how their experiences. You can actually tailor treatment plans. And communication styles to meet the individual needs of your patients. And then relationship management.
When your team can build strong rapport and trust with your patients, Their satisfaction and loyalty. They go through the roof. When your team excels in relationship management, you actually have long-term relationships and you don't have to put on your advertisements that we want to be your dentist for life. You don't need to sell that to your patients because it will automatically happen.
Your goal is to improve patient retention and practice growth.
You just start that with the relationship side.
Let's take this to team collaboration and leadership. The self-awareness aspect. Comes into play, when the leaders and your practice are self-aware. They understand their own strengths, their own weaknesses, their own emotions. And they don't take them as reasons they shouldn't work there.
They take them into consideration to know that self-awareness helps me lead by example, when I manage my stress effectively, my team works better. When I ask for feedback, I build a bond with my team.
Self-regulation. If you're a leader, you have to be able to regulate your own emotions and maintain composure. That is out of respect for your team. Especially during those high stress situations. You might have emergencies or conflicts with your team. Remaining and maintaining composure through that. Is paramount. If you are someone in the office and I've said it before, that says not my circus, not my monkeys. You're in the wrong place. Because you're trusted with this circus, you're trusted with these monkeys and it is your responsibility to self-regulate so that you can make rational decisions and maintain a positive work environment. And next the relationship management aspect of this. Strong leadership.
in your business means that you are building and nurturing, cohesive and collaborative teams.
Leadership with strong relationship management skills. Actually creates open communication. It resolves conflicts early on and it promotes a culture of mutual respect. Where there is a support among your team members. If you've got situations where other people are bitter, that other people in the office get different promotions or they are able to do different tasks that they don't think they deserve to do. There's a problem with mutual respect amongst your team . And the relationship management needs to get under control.
Let's bring this to practice management side or the success of your business.
When you talk about patient satisfaction and retention, emotionally intelligent professionals in your business. Are better equipped to meet patients' emotional needs. Which then results in a higher level of patient satisfaction and loyalty. Satisfied patients and your practice are more likely to return for their future treatments. Which results in your practice, growing and profitability. Team engagement and productivity. Man. If your leadership is on point with emotional intelligence. Your team is engaged. They're motivated. They have job satisfaction. Engaged team members are more productive, committed, and willing to go the extra mile. To make your practice successful.
And then there's conflict resolution and problem solving.
When your leaders are emotionally intelligent, They can address conflicts and challenges within your business. Leading to quicker resolutions. And then your team being closer. We want your leadership team fostering a positive work environment where your team members actually feel valued and supported. Not overworked and underpaid. Are you listening to your team members? Are the leaders in your team, meaning you contributing to the overall success and profitability of your practice. Because they have high emotional intelligence. If all those things aren't happening, what are the things you're doing to change it?
Storytime for a second.
It was the spring of 2014. When I shifted my career for about six months. I went from being a regional director of operations in a dental group. To an office manager role. I had moved halfway across the country and I needed to make a shift. I didn't want the pay cut, but I needed the shift. Mentally emotionally, physically. My brain needed it. My body needed it. You're going to learn why here in just a second.
I had applied to a couple of dental offices. When I got into town within 24 hours, I had three job offers. Two in-person interviews. It was a wild ride. I chose an office about 20 miles from my new home. The owner really wowed me. I had just come from what I believe was the most toxic group practice. This group practice in the three years that I worked for them, they required me to be on a weight loss plan. Dress a certain way. Eat a certain way.
I even had to write on sticky notes, my calorie goal for the day. My makeup had to be done a certain way by hair colored and styled a certain way. I had to speak a certain way, act a certain way. Everything was a production. I bought into it because the salary was really high. It was amazing. And in my twenties, I never knew I was going to make that much money.
This group practice that I had come from controlled everything. From how people were hired. To certain types of applicants, they would accept. They were a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.
I desperately needed a change.
By the time I left that group practice and moved across the country. I needed to ground myself. I needed to get myself back whole again, know who I was and heal from that experience. I know that that group practice stole a lot from me. But I also gained a lot and it made me who I am today.
And obviously, even telling you this story. I learned so much.
Back to my interviews. I arrived at this particular office that I ultimately accepted the position at. And they wowed me. The owner dentist was really professional. She also introduced her faith to me. She was extremely grounded in Christianity. She prayed every morning and every huddle. She was focused on her team. She had different outings and gifts that she did promotions that she offered bonuses.
She would do. So many different things that she did that were so different from where I came from. She shared with me this terrible story of how she had been taken advantage of by the landlord of her building. And they were in a lawsuit. She shared so much of her life with me and my heart bled for her. I was definitely in a vulnerable place, but I appreciated where she was and I wanted to be there for her.
She just had this thing about her, how she communicated to me. And I just felt for her. I knew this was the place I needed to be at. I felt like I was finally going to be at an office where it wasn't crazy. This was the spot for me to heal.
I think my heart mostly fell for her, probably because I was in such a vulnerable place from leaving that group practice. I was with. And knowing that I really just needed something far better than where I was.
I also really just wanted to do business. I wanted to not have all of the nitty-gritty and the perfectionism. And the expectations of me. I just wanted to do dental business really well. I felt like all of the things that she shared with me. We're exactly things I could fix from the experiences with previous employees to. What she was looking for, how she was looking to grow. I started at this practice two days later. That day another person started. And they were given the exact same title as me. I went on to learn that she hired both of us with the same position, same title, and wanted to see who would work out. Who would last, who was the better choice? She never positioned it that way.
To me, in fact, she lied to me and told me that she hired us both, but told the other person that she hired us both for the same position and was going to see who worked out, but already knew that I was going to work out. So I didn't have anything to worry about. But immediately, it made me lose my trust in her. Because that's not really a thing.
And you don't do that to people. If you're going to hire me. You're hiring me. And you never disclosed with me that you were going to put me in a competition with someone else.
I had to just put my head down and work. I knew I needed to work here. I felt it deep within my soul. I needed this transition. So I just got in there and I put my head down. I started working. The first thing I did when I got in. Was to make sure that my hands were wrapped around the insurance claims and the AR. I needed to have a clear understanding of where everything was at. My second priority was to make sure that the schedule was full. So every day I did everything I could to make sure that schedule was in tip top shape. When I started at this practice, I ran the numbers and on average, they were producing $77,000 a month. The first four weeks that I worked there. We did 110,000. She had one dental assistant. A part-time hygienist. And the office was definitely getting busier. She was overwhelmed, but, I felt that she knew that I was the right choice and we were going to grow this practice. The problem was that she was flying through dental assistants.
Like you wouldn't believe she would hire one, three days later, they would quit.
My favorite memory of why I found out dental assistants were quitting so rapidly. Was because she would ask them to do things such as if they set up a room for a patient and anything disposable was not used from the tray or the setup. She wanted the dental assistant to place those items back in the box.
So we didn't waste it and we could reuse it.. There were so many other things that were completely illegitimate that happened in this practice. I can't even tell you. People had problems with her. Dental assistants, weren't putting up with it. There were unethical things that I'm not even going to bring up here that she was doing. Many of them just couldn't handle it.
So the door was revolving. It kept going and spitting out dental assistance just as fast as she could get them.
Finally, we got a really great dental assistant who ended up staying there. And after about two weeks, One particular morning, we all showed up and the schedule was completely packed. A full day of hygiene. A full day of patients needing everything from fillings crowns. And I think there were like a couple of implants and a few new patients. The day was scheduled at I think, $12,000 somewhere around that figure.
The dental assistant was doing such a great job.
And I had asked her the night before to come in a few minutes early because I wanted to just have a huddle with her. Get a little powwow in before we had our actual team meeting with the dentist, I was starting to get to know her personality had been there for about six weeks at this time. And I knew that she didn't handle stress well, I wanted to make sure that I could meet with the team before she met with the team so I could get everybody's mind. Right.
The dental assistant was in a super positive place before we had to the morning huddle. The dentist starts off the meeting, extremely stressed out, worried that we're not going to be able to get to every patient. Somehow she snuck in a prayer before we ended the meeting and talked about how grateful she was.
I had to the front office where I'm going to greet the patients.
The first patient walks in, I greet them. They have a seat on one of the sofas in the waiting room. All of a sudden, I start to hear clinking instruments, voices raised a little bit louder,
because of how the dental office was set up. I couldn't really make out what was happening. I just knew that the dentist was really stressed out. The patient load was pretty big and the day was packed. The dental assistant was obviously newer, but I had taken the time to prep the dental assistant for how today needed to go so that she could have the most successful day.
This dental assistant was ready to kill it. She knew that despite how the Dr. May act, whatever her personality may be. She had all the tools to make it a successful day. I'm going to stop right here.
There are two possible outcomes for how the next 20 minutes could go. And this office. One is lack of emotional intelligence. The dentist stress levels continue to escalate.
They affect the ability for the dentist to communicate effectively with patients and provide quality care. The assistant can fail to acknowledge and address the dentist, emotional state. And make the situation completely exacerbated, which can definitely lead to increased tension frustration between the team.
All the things can suffer patient care appointments, being canceled, right before our eyes. The day can crumble. Or high emotional intelligence.
That can mean that we recognize the signs of stress and the dentist respond with empathy. Provide support for the team approach, the dentist and a calm, reassuring, demeanor offer assistance with patient care. Work with the team. Have the back office, talk with me about whatever issues we're having.
We can even create moments of solidarity.
Now, those are the two scenarios.
I had towards the back office. Trying to figure out what in the world is going on. Why am I hearing. Instruments clanking. Why am I hearing raise voices? There's a patient in the lobby. This is super embarrassing. What's happening. I do whatever was going on needed to stop because this day was not going to go that way.
Now I'll remind you.
I have only been at this office for six weeks, but I was commanding the space because even though the dentist owns the practice, I'm here to run a business. I'm not here for the dentist to be my best friend. But I am here to make them incredibly successful. And I know that's my job. Now I can't control the attitude of anyone else.
I can only control mine.
And I can also approach this situation from a vantage point that I want us all to be successful. And that regardless of the heightened emotions, whatever happened, we can get through it together. We can understand where someone else is at and meet them there, even if they don't deserve it.
That's grace, by the way.
I went in the back and I found out that the dentist had thrown instruments across the room. She was stressed because the setup wasn't done correctly and the patient wasn't ready to be brought back. There were a few more details, , I can't remember absolutely everything. I just know that she was mad about something.
And I know that it had to do partially with a setup. And partially with feeling like she'd be running behind.
This dentist was so prideful. She couldn't even see past this situation. For two seconds to realize that she had deeply offended the dental assistant. And if that person. Walked out. What were we going to do? She was trying to control the situation with strong words, a raised voice, thrown instruments and completely inappropriate line of speaking. I asked both of them to go with me to the office that was located in the back. We talked about what happened very briefly on a very high level. I said, we have two options.
We can continue down this path and we can have a really hard day and miss out on an opportunity to serve our patients. Well, to be profitable as a business and to grow as a team. Or we can all apologize for what just happened regardless of who was right or wrong. And choose to move forward.
If we choose to move forward, that means we all lend a little bit of grace to a beginning of a stressful day. And we decide right now that this isn't something that's going to happen in this practice or ever again.
What do we want to do? Now, this dentist's looked at me like, who are you talking to right now? This is my business. And I own this place. You don't own it. And I can fire you right now. And I could read that all over her face. Because as much as I'd like to tell you, this was just the most smooth interaction ever.
And I commanded the space and I got them all to come on my side and it was perfect. First go round. It wasn't she did start raising her voice at me. My hands started to sweat, but I knew that I had to keep my composure because the second I would let her know I was scared of her. It was all going to crumble and there is no way we were going to make it out of here.
So once she was done talking, I said, listen, Doctor I'm here for you. I'm on your side. And while what I'm saying right now might feel like I'm controlling you. I'm trying to get the situation under control. I'm not trying to make you be someone you're not, but I am here to help you grow your business.
And I need you to let me help you grow your business. And Valerie, your dental assistant. She's also here to help you grow your business. And I know you're frustrated right now. And I know that what happened this morning before you even brought a patient back. Feels like that's what set the tone. But it's more fair to say that before you even saw the setups and the room.
That huddle this morning, you were already worried about the office. You had already made up your mind about how things were going to go today. So I'm going to challenge you right now to just pause, take a minute to talk about the schedule. And I want you to tell me in your dream world, what would it look like?
We're going to take five minutes. If you could change this schedule to look any particular way. Anything differently to make today better. I want you to show me what that is and we're going to make that happen for you today.
I shared with her that I understood exactly how she felt, why she was stressed out. And I know that she has never had a team in the past that was actually there to support her, but we're here and she needs to trust us and she doesn't have to respond the old way. She can know that we're here for her.
She shared with me a couple of areas that we could change on the schedule that would really help her out. She then went on to apologize for how she acted to the dental assistant. It took us about 15 minutes to get through things. We did start off behind. But as a result of us having that meeting behind a closed door, even though it meant the day started late. I validated the dental assistant. Because she wasn't treated right. I validated the dentist because she was worried about the schedule. Apologies were had and made and received and accepted.
And I could see the relief in my team. I could see that for the first time. With this new assistant, this doctor dealing with her schedule. So full. Everybody felt like they had a trusted team. They had an ally.
I apologize for filling a schedule. So full the assistant apologized for the situation with the setups and whatever else happened. The dentist apologized for being completely out of line.
And before I left that room, I said, Can you trust me? Can you trust our team today? That we can handle this for you, that we got your back.
We agreed before we even brought the patient back, that we would support each other. Our team morale was amazing. We ended up producing. Almost $15,000. The dentist bought us lunch that day. I remember getting two people to leave us a five star review on Google right away while they were in the office, because they kept raving about how amazing the experience was. It was a completely different environment.
I felt like the office had more confidence.
Our quality of care was better. We had increased patient loyalty. Our practice grew. We were successful despite the fact that we had a crazy dentist. And obviously I stopped working for her after about six months because her behavior never actually got better. But this one day we all made this choice to choose emotional intelligence over how someone ought to be treated, how someone ought to be handled, what should have happened.
And that changed everything. Our that's good moment. And today can very simply be boiled down. To one question. What are we running from? What are we running from when we lack emotional intelligence? To have a conversation with someone to resolve an issue. To choose grace over what should happen. What ought to happen?
Often we're running from a past emotional experience that we don't want to relive again. We're running from how we believe we deserved to be treated. We're running from the fact that we believe someone else doesn't deserve our respect because of who they are. I am never asking you to be a doormat. I am never asking you to put up with someone's poor behavior.
You don't always need to be the bigger person. But what I'm challenging you in as that. Every time you have a tough situation.
You have a way to get through it.
You can be strong in your own mind. You can stand up for yourself in a situation you can choose to appeal. To the fear that exists in other people. And learn what's causing their lack of emotional intelligence. You don't need to accept harassment of used or any violation of human rights or employment rights.
Those all exist for a reason. But we do have a choice to grow our minds, to grow our experiences, to create a new generation of leaders that understand how to effectively communicate with someone without having to argue. You don't have to accept every invitation to an argument that comes your way. You can always choose to respond and be someone different.
Remember Leland.
Val Vanderwall said the degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional. To the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away. Embracing our truths, acknowledging our vulnerabilities and confronting our fears are all pivotal steps. On the path to emotional intelligence, it's not always easy. But undeniably it is worthwhile.
Together let's commit to facing our truth.
Head-on. Embracing the growth that comes with self-awareness and continuing to cultivate our emotional intelligence through our leadership legacy. Remember the path to self discovery and emotional maturity is ongoing. Today. Be kind to yourself. And others. And never stopped striving to understand the depths of your own truth. I'll catch you on the next episode.