The Soul of Leadership: Generosity Ep 002

We made it welcome to episode two of dentistry support the podcast. I am your host, Sarah Beth Herman. And today's episode is all about leading and generosity. The soul of generational leadership.  The most important thing I think you can have as a leader. Is a soul that is in alignment with where you want to take your team. Today, I'm sharing a couple of cool stories that I hope provoke thoughts for you on your own soul, your own journey, growing your very own team.  As you've probably already noticed I'm a little under the weather.  And what would a journey look like of creating a podcast? 

If you didn't catch laryngitis right before you record episode two. So here we are, we're making it work.  You know, as we navigate the highways of life, both literal and metaphorical, we encounter moments that teach us profound lessons about generosity. Patients and the art of sharing. If you're new around here, head back to the episode list and check out our very first episode.  To learn more about the purpose and introduction into what we are all about.  

 I have a few stories today that I hope bring meaning to thoughts I've had on leadership.  And how we can truly create that generational mark in our teams. We are gifted to lead.  The focus today is meeting people where they are practicing patience and sharing experiences that can transform not only us as leaders, but also the very fabric of the teams that we lead. So let's get into it. And chat as we find the power of leadership and this episode of dentistry support the podcast.  Leadership is a lot like my husband, when driving on the highway, stick with me for a minute.  He is the first person that will wait and let someone merge into traffic. Even if they are in the wrong, he always lets them over.  I can literally recall an innumerable amount of times. 

We have been on the highway and someone just busts right over and tries to merge when they see the lane ending. I think it is so stinking rude. Sometimes, I wonder if you will ever just totally lose his cool, but he just doesn't. He always makes a comment like we have insurance or they must be in a much bigger hurry than I am.  I'm almost conditioned to think that it's now ridiculous for people to have road rage. Because my husband has always displayed such candor. If I'm in the car with someone else, I sometimes find myself silently triggered when they yell at someone or honk their horn. Or if they cut someone off to pay them back for their poor driving decisions.  My husband's name is Devin and Devin is the first person in a parking lot to wait for an entire row of people to back out and leave. Especially at the post office. And then the little town that I live in that isn't really so little anymore. 

The post office is always wild. I mean, year round, it is full of traffic.  

The traffic gives me anxiety of is this line going to be forever long when I get inside? Will I even find a parking spot. Am I going to get in an accident today? I just want to zoom in and out of there not Devin. His patients is insane. He will just sit there. And sometimes he says to me, Sarah, Beth, let's just wait. 

Let's just wait for everyone to do their thing. And then we'll go. Another version of this is I have all day. Let them do their thing there obviously, and much more of a hurry than I am. So we sat there for a little while and enjoy whatever chat we're having and move on with our day. No stress, no risk of car damage. 

No anger, frustration. Really it's no big deal at all. Why on earth am I so rushed? Why do I need to beat someone to the finish line at the end of the parking lot?  I don't even think I can answer that question other than to be humbled and say, I think that wherever I'm going, whatever I'm doing is far more important to me than what the other person in the car in front of me is going through or wherever they're headed.  Why am I not considering how important they are? Why is my need to rush out of here so much more important than them?  I can be better. I should be better.  So why the story. 

So why the story. Well, there is a parallel here to leadership. 

By consistently allowing others to merge into traffic regardless of who is in the wrong. My husband unknowingly embodies a leadership approach that prioritizes understanding and accommodation.  This parallels with the idea of meeting team members at their current skill levels. Understanding their perspectives. And embracing their unique qualities just as he waits for an entire row of cars to back out in a crowded parking lot at the post office. Leaders can foster an environment where individuals are given the time and the space to navigate the challenges they have at their own pace.  This patient and accommodating leadership style creates a culture that values each team members journey allowing for a more effective collaboration and a mutual respect.  I husband Devin beautifully illustrates the importance of adapting leadership to the individual needs and circumstances of team members. Ultimately fostering a more inclusive and supportive work environment. 

I know it's really hard to have this thought when you newly hire someone and they just aren't getting it. But I think that there are always two sides.  I think if someone gave you the inkling in your mind that they are hireable or worthy of being on your team, and that they can really do this job. 

Well, what changed? Where did things go wrong?  And a future episode on this podcast, we will be talking about our pulse leadership philosophy here at dentistry support. And I can't wait to share it with you.  It's an incredible tool that will help you identify how to proceed with an employee. When their performance is in question.  Truly I say to you, this. As I reflect on the way my husband leaves his legacy in a seemingly mindless way. It serves as a profound reminder of the kind of leader that I strive to be.  These instances on the road are not just about traffic. 

They symbolize a leadership philosophy of meeting people where they are. I can't help, but draw parallels between his willingness to let others in and my commitment to supporting and understanding my team, the future generations of my team.  Like what do they need to be the best versions of themselves for them and for my business. Or for this business that I'm trusted to lead. 

When I first expanded into a global organization. It was such a new venture for me. Learning to work with people who weren't in my office. People. I never knew people. I would likely never meet in person. I decided at the very beginning, I would be open to whatever leadership opportunity I was gifted with. I vividly remember many moments of tears and wild remarks. 

When I operated in ways I thought were normal. For example, I had a team member who suffered a miscarriage. He was heartbreaking. She was six months along and she lost her baby. I was devastated for her. It broke my heart.  At the time only, she worked for me. And her husband, he was out of work.  She needed time off. 

So we gave it to her. I told her to come back when she was ready. At the time I had maybe 50 employees. We all prayed for her. We supported her and took care of all of the work that she did while she needed to be out.  Her team was ready, willing, and able to take on her responsibilities.  

I granted the overtime and we audited the work of her team to be sure the work completed was accurate and still in alignment with our promises to our clients.  We went on to hire her husband. And from that experience, I've never felt more connected with my entire team.  She had such a moment of horror in her life. 

And rather than hearing that she had this terrible experience happen. And dismissing her and thinking, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? And letting panic set in on what would happen to my business.  I chose a totally different route. I leaned in, on my other team members and we all held down the Fort while she healed and welcomed her back with open arms when she was ready.  We didn't hold down the Fort and then wait for the opportunity to tell her how crazy it was when she got back.  The way her team handled it all on her behalf.  He was amazing.  She was one of the many times I tried to just operate out of love. And the way that I wanted to be there for her.  Hearing my team stories of poor leadership and just how shocked they always seem to be with me and how I interacted with them. 

I couldn't help, but wonder about their past experiences with leaders.  This transition, highlights how these personal experiences drive. My belief that leadership at its core is an act of generosity. That leaves a lasting impression on those that we are gifted to lead.  

It was a really amazing experience for me.  To watch the unfolding of the generational leadership. That my director of dental billing had.  She had trained and prepared her team. And when she had an emergency, they were ready, willing, able, and went right into full force, supporting the needs of their department. . This was a moment in my business. That demanded more than just professional support.  Instead of handling it behind closed doors. 

 I chose to embrace the principle of sharing and leadership. And trust that this leader always worked in a way that was continuously preparing her team for their next level of growth and any emergencies that may arise. Now I obviously don't suggest that you share private information. Unless you have expressed permission.  But I do encourage you to find ways to bring your team together and support of those who dedicate their life to your business.  

Together. We rallied around our grieving team member. We provided not only emotional support, but also practical assistance. And maintained her duties while she was out.  By openly involving the entire team. We transcended the traditional boundaries of professional relationships and sharing the burden of our team members pain. 

We became more than just coworkers. We became a compassionate community. This shared experience, strengthened our bonds and highlighted the importance of collective support and generational leadership. It demonstrated that true leadership involves fostering a culture of shared empathy and solidarity. Creating a workplace where individuals don't just work together, but they genuinely care for each other's wellbeing. And they share and responsibilities because they are all on the same track of leadership. 

Now I'm not new to the concept of being absolutely grossed out to say that your team members or your coworkers are quote unquote, your work family or that this is my dental family. And honestly, you don't have to call your coworkers that, but what I will say is that you have this one opportunity. To build your business, that you were gifted to lead. In a way that has a foundation built on trust. Empowerment and preparedness of the entire team. And you have to do it. Long after you leave this business or that business leaves your trust.  There will still exist. 

The ever remembered and practice notion that leadership begins together as a team, that somewhere along the lines, There was a soul to that leadership.  So while this story is one filled with the way that we loved and another team member. I have worked for places that at the very thought of someone having an emergency. All chaos breaks loose. 

 It's much like that financial quote. 

I'm sure you've heard. Today, the average American family is one, $400 expense away from total bankruptcy. We don't prepare for emergencies. Likewise in our businesses, we don't prepare for emergencies. It's really hard.  Like, how exactly do you prepare for a business emergency?  And the last four years. I've had phone calls with over 750 dental office owners. One-on-one just me and just them.  They schedule calls with me through a popular scheduling app that I have integrated with my website.  I take every first call with potential clients at dentistry support. I'll never stop.  I tested out, having someone else take these calls at one point. And it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to. 

Anyhow. And these 750 plus calls, there is an interestingly high number of owners I speak to who are all in the same position.  They have had a long time employee. They care for. Who their patients love, but the business is suffering. 

And they need the virtual support that my company dentistry support provides. So that they can get their business growing again. They don't want to terminate anyone, but they need their business to grow. 

If I were to ask you. What percentage of dental offices that I talked to are in this exact situation? What would you guess? The answer north of 90%.  You may think these are all examples of a great soul of a leader because they care. I would instead challenge you to see something a little different. First let's examine what their thought process is.  The common thought is that the patients at the dental office love the front office person. 

They love the office manager. They've been there for so long. It's familiar. It's how their office is known. Or the other thought that I hear is that. This person just knows everything about the business and there's no way the business would survive without them.  But they still aren't performing. So they need the help.  Doesn't this sound a little bit crazy to you.  Even if you don't know dentistry, or even if you're a front office team member, it sounds a little crazy, right? That 90% of dentists or owner doctors that I speak to. Are simply in a spot. Where their business isn't growing, but they don't want to confront the team member. 

They don't want to replace them because they care. So they're willing to spend more money. On a business that's losing money because there's lack of performance.

 How do we change this? 

How do we meet people where they are. Seek to understand where they are at and do this leadership thing. Way better so that we're not operating this way anymore.  Well, I think first. We have to prioritize, understanding and accommodation. We have to get to the soul of our leadership. Maybe right now. You think I'm a pushover?  Yeah, I get it. The words, prioritizing, understanding, and accommodation and getting to the soul of our leadership. They don't seem very strong. They don't seem like I'm really doing something that's going to make anything else happen.  But really you've got to start understanding your team. Knowing what makes them consistently perform and what just doesn't. 



Like that office manager.  You think they're really great with patients? But they're just not cutting it for the business.  They're probably just used to you not holding them accountable to complete the work that needs to be done.  When was the last time you talked about it?  Who else on your team knows how to do the work that they're supposed to be doing? Do you know how to check if the work isn't being done in a non accusatory manner? 

When I say accommodation, how do you think that you could lend to accommodation or maybe even call it sharing? To reduce the stress and anxiety you have about your business.

What ways are you prone to freaking out with your team or having an internal come apart?  The first and most important accommodation you can give is the accommodation of cross-training and sharing knowledge amongst team members. At first glance, this might sound strange, right? Accommodations don't sound like cross trainings and cross trainings. 

Don't sound like accommodation. 

Cross training becomes an accommodation. When you live it through enhancing someone else's professional development. You are building a versatile team. You are boosting team collaboration. You are building a business of continuity and you are creating future opportunities. You are choosing that you are going to be a generational leader at the very core of who you are. You are going to look at every team member and realize that long after they are out of your care. There will still exist this moment that you made a profound change in their life. By enabling them to be the very best versions of themselves.  This is going to give you internal gratitude as a leader. That you have chosen to help others learn and expand on their own skillsets.  If you are the owner of any business, tell me this. What would happen if your office manager or person in charge of scheduling patients? We're to not show up for two weeks.  What would happen in your business? 

Let's talk about that. I say these two rules on purpose. They're typically the highest paid person in the lowest paid person.  So would anything not get done that matters to the functionality of your business?  Who would fill in?  How does everything stay in motion to sustain the business operations?  If your business would fall apart. Or you would have extreme anxiety and have that complete internal come apart. Accommodations are missing from your business.  Start with those two positions and determine where cross training belongs.  If you are an office manager listening to this podcast right now. Can I tell you something? You're amazing.  You are talented. And you are worthy. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. 

And any challenges you are facing in this moment. You have the actual power within you to change? It may not feel like it, but I want you to keep listening, learning, and challenging yourself. To take new steps in generational leadership and define the practice or business that you were brought right here to build.  Let's shift gears.  Are you a front office or back office team member? 

Do you work remotely? You are the frontline of what makes this business work? You are the one person everyone is most concerned with. Your position is the one that your coworkers and leaders are saying. Uh, if they don't show up, what are we going to do?  Your very position is the one that gives you anxiety about calling in sick. Because how will the office ever make it without you? I hear you loud and clear, and I want you to know leadership starts right here. It starts at your level and you are fully capable of crafting the way the office sees you. Seize your role, your preparedness and your eagerness to make it all a better place.  Before you start thinking as an owner, that there is no way I am teaching what my office manager does. For, if you are the opposite manager and you are thinking that this is a threat to you. And that you are never teaching everyone in your team, what you do, because you'll be replaced.  What are you scared of right now? 

And why are you going there?  There is always a ladder taller for you to climb. Enable your team to do everything that you do so that you can take your business. To new Heights,  you are creating generational leadership in every single thing that you do. And for my frontline team members. Thinking I don't have one single ounce of extra time. Where do you think I'll be able to cross train someone?  That's more work for me.  Please keep listening. There's so much. 

I want you to learn today.  

Cross training is establishing the way not only leadership will be. But where you will be able to go.  Do you want to stay in the same position? The same wage, the same anxieties, the same level forever. I want you to imagine for just a moment. What the wildest dreams of your practice would be like the ultimate goal of where this dental practice is going to go. Even if you don't own it. Just imagine if you were to look at this business as though you owned it and you were to dream as high as the sky. How big would this dental office get? 

Would it be more production per month or would you dream even bigger and to multi locations?  How would you then be a single office manager of this location you're in now, if you have five other locations,  Or how would you be the single front office team member of all of your six locations or seven locations?  If you are the single front office team member of this office.  You have to create the next generation of leaders. And you have to be generous in your wisdom and talents. With others. So that you're able to build generations of team members.  And then empower those people to do the same.  Long after you are here. You are creating future generations with confidence enough to cross train.  Accommodate and create moments of understanding to the need for growth and leadership in the entire team.  As I recall the story I shared with you in the beginning of this episode. I'm reminded of the generosity. 

My husband unknowingly demonstrates every day.  No, it wasn't in an office setting. But it was something that's relatable to us all in fact, yesterday. We left our house to go to dinner. And I was stuck in the house from being sick with a cold, the laryngitis, I just talked about.  And I started to feel better.  So we were like, let's just go out to eat.  We pulled out of the neighborhood and there was an accident at the next intersection up.  He did it again.

He, by the way has no idea. 

This episode is featuring him. And I'm sure he will giggle a little bit when he hears me talk about this. But nonetheless traffic was a nightmare.  We were in his truck and we had to switch four lanes of extremely pack traffic. The entire intersection was blocked.  He gets all the way over and he says, I'm just going to let everyone go in front of me. 

Even that guy over there who sped around everyone. It's no fun to wait and we all have to be here. I don't mind. That generous heart. Man. I love him.  Imagine how generous your team feels that you are right now.  Like if I were to ask them,  What ways do you think. Your office manager demonstrates generosity. 

What would they say?  Or if I were to say, in what ways does your front office team member demonstrate generosity? What would they say?  Have you ever worked in an environment where your manager gate kept their responsibilities or their duties, and you thought they did nothing all day.  How differently would you have felt if your leader taught you something new or enabled you to learn their role in a mentor capacity? 

Now if you are an office manager. Please don't be offended by this because unless you are leading in a generous leadership capacity, this could be the perception of you, but I am here to help you change that. I am not here to condemn you.  To the team at your office.  How would you have felt if you knew your leadership trusted you out of everyone else? To learn portions of the office manager role.  I sort of hear you in the background saying something like, yeah, real empowered. 

Basically I'm doing their job for less pay. That isn't what I mean here. I don't agree with taking advantage of people. And in a future episode, you'll hear exactly how to handle increases of wages that are requested and how to expect them as a team member. 

I think in all of the situations, I've most proud of my leadership journey. I instantly am flooded with moments. My team was thankful to be working with me. And not just because I was funny.  Or bought them coffee or gave them a gift. But instead I appeal to the future of who they are. I taught them a skillset they could take with them. I cross-trained them. 

I taught them to cross train. When I am most proud is when I couldn't come through for them because I was out of the office. But when I came back, it was like they didn't miss a beat because I had prepared them.  Then I could reward them for everything they did for me. I knew we were a team. Me being proud of my leadership came from when I gave accommodation. In an unlikely scenario. Or when I understood them when their workload wasn't being completed. When I sought to meet them where they were and level them up. Instead of settling for, they just aren't doing it. 

I'm firing them. Listen. You hired them, you felt you wanted them. They were given to your department, your office, your business. If you want the dream team. Who invest in your business? Like they own it. Then treat your employees the same. Invest in their life. Like it's yours. I got to say it one more time. Invest in their life. Like it's really yours. That's your TGM for today? Invest in the lives of your team. Like it's your life, you're living. You aren't always at a hundred percent. And if your team is not moldable, you can't make the moves. Your business depends on. It's time. 

You have an open conversation that the situation deserves.  If you are having a hard time with a team member, asked the question. Do you want to be here? I want you here. That's why I'm having this conversation with you. Two weeks ago, we set expectations on your role.  And what we needed to see improvement.  We cross-trained and checked for understanding. 

And you confirmed with me that you understood what this position requires. Can you help me understand where you are at right now? Is there something I can do differently to support you so together, we can successfully fulfill the tasks that need to be done.  If there's no way around it.  Then you do have to make the change.  I think when people say that rhyme, like slow to hire or quick to fire. Or the reverse quick to hire, slow to fire. 

They irked me. I think you need to hire wisely and fire wisely and be a leader wisely. You need to realize that as much as you need to fill the position. 

It is your responsibility to mentor guide and lead that new hire. If you have an existing team member, whether they've been there for 90 days or 25 years, it is still your responsibility as their leader. To mentor, guide and lead. So as you start this week, know that you have a clean slate. Take with you both understanding and accommodations and know the soul of your leadership exists to be generous. You have been trusted this gift of leadership regardless of your title and every day. The choices you make will create generational leaders. I'll catch you on the  next episode.